An Homage to Retard Part 2: Merry Deucemas

Author: AtheistDiary

Date: December 21, 2003

by AtheistDiary
12-21-03
Retard's comics usually inspire me to fart, but that's only because I'm lactose intolerant and I feel the need to drink milk and eat Nilla wafers while reading his strips.
Sometimes I admire them from afar with a telescope hooked on to my boobies. It usually doesn't work, though, because Danger Mouse always wants to do a strip tease for me instead. It's very distracting
Once I was looking through his comics when the google ads jumped out from the screen and proceeded to force me to hop scotch all the way to a Tiajuana hooker house.
I kept trying to tell them that I already had the clap, but they wouldn't listen. They just braided my butt hairs with Twizzlers and called me Nooba Nonga the Carrot Eater.
There was nothing I could do. So I sat down on the lava lamp and wrote a letter to Santa Claus asking for an application form. I was rejected, though, cause I'm a Mall Santa sex offender.
(Retard's girlfriend still has nice boobies.)