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| Retard's comics usually inspire me to fart, but that's only because I'm lactose intolerant and I feel the need to drink milk and eat Nilla wafers while reading his strips. | |
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| Sometimes I admire them from afar with a telescope hooked on to my boobies. It usually doesn't work, though, because Danger Mouse always wants to do a strip tease for me instead. It's very distracting | |
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| Once I was looking through his comics when the google ads jumped out from the screen and proceeded to force me to hop scotch all the way to a Tiajuana hooker house. | |
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| I kept trying to tell them that I already had the clap, but they wouldn't listen. They just braided my butt hairs with Twizzlers and called me Nooba Nonga the Carrot Eater. | |
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| There was nothing I could do. So I sat down on the lava lamp and wrote a letter to Santa Claus asking for an application form. I was rejected, though, cause I'm a Mall Santa sex offender. | |
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| (Retard's girlfriend still has nice boobies.) | |
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