Fuckin' intercourse! I can't believe the late Corporal Apathy is deceased! What should we do with what's left of his remaining ashes?
I'm sure Apathy would want us to leave them, you know, wherever. He'd be happier than if he were hunting for treasure with a supermodel, if you know what I mean.
This is a very moving tribute, and a much better way to spend time than opening this box I dug up.
Let's find out how much cash money is in this box! Wait, that's not money...
...it's a contract to appear on Friends. Why would Pheobe leave me such a trashy piece of garbage?
Hey, they pay actors trillions of dollars to endure the unspeakable hell that is Friends. This is what we've been waiting eons for!