Your uncanny luck won't hold up forever. Eventually the universe will notice you and put a stop to this insanity.
That seems to be the only logical outcome of this comic cup.
Meanwhile...
Let me get this straight: they attack the church for child molestation, yet they celebrate your birthday with an old man who spies on children and breaks into their houses?
Yeah! It just makes me want to start setting fire to things at random!
I was going to say "Happy Birthday!", but now it just seems inappropriate.
