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| Bert...I had a poop SO big and hard today that I was spotting like a woman 10 cm. dilated and ready to give birth! I was crying like a little schoolgirl at her first rock concert! | |
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| Shit, Bill! I think its time you got an anal speculum from a sex shop or off the internet to help get those things out, man! | |
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| I've tried getting them out with darning needles, electric toothbrushes, apple corers, egg beaters and I've even sat ass in the tub and tried to steam them out with an electric kettle! | |
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| Holy crapola! That's dangerous shit, man! You need help! So, what's next on your implements of destruction list? | |
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| A corkscrew! Maybe a WaterPik butt-blasting shower attachment! I don't know where I can get one of those lyposuction utensils! That would be cool! | |
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| Bill...have you ever considered calling RotoRooter or using a Dremmel? | |
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