Important notice about the future of Stripcreator (Updated: May 2nd, 2023)

  CHUBBY  

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by CHUBBY
10-03-04
RING. You have reached Aspen Edge, the super-premium low-carb beer with the great taste. Please leave a message after the beep.
Hello, Aspen Edge. I've never called beer before. Your radio ad campaign, where a series of skeptical wiseacres call and leave you sarcastic messages doubting that you could really brew ...
... a low-carb beer with great taste, would be hysterically, fall-down funny if it HAD great taste. If it had any taste at all. But it doesn't.
BEEP. Aspen Edge? Isn't it true that if one drinks enough beer that switching to a low-carb brand is going to make a difference in one's diet, that one is not only fat, but an alcoholic?
BEEP. Aspen? Can't I make my own low-carb beer by mixing Bud and water 50-50? BEEP. Ass? I feel I know you by now. Can't I drink distilled spirits and get no carbs? Why would I drink this donkey piss?
BEEP. Hallo dere! You is de low carber and I is de low carbee. When you be makin' a low-carb malt liquor in a 40? My baby mother be gettin fat in the bootay. And I gots to make a bootay call. BEEP.
Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it! BEEP. BEEP. Um, isn't this just light beer? BEEP. Why is Aspen Edge like making love in a canoe? Give up? BEEP. Are you any relation to The Edge?
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