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| Dear Santa,I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor. Love Susan | |
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| Santa do you like my package? | |
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| Don't bother me with your package! I've got to answer some of these damn letters that kids are sending me! | |
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| Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits, and carrots make the deer fart in my face. If you want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and a nice Cuban cigar. Santa | |
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