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| ...And in other news a local man was gang raped last night by a number of men wearing donkey masks. | |
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| When questioned the victim commented that the situation was "Uber-Gay" | |
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| Police are interviewing several suspects known to the Animal Mask, Man-Rape section of the police. | |
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| Early indications are that at least two of the gang have a number of sexually transmitted diseases found in a variety of mammals from marmosets to badgers | |
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| Additionally, several NEW hybrid viruses were discovered that will invariably cause a slow, lingering death for their carrier. | |
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| When this was brought to the victims attention he is reported as saying that "At least I'm not Chris2. However bad it gets I'll never have it THAT bad." | |
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