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| Hi there, I am Bill Bauer with OxiClean, the amazing cleaning formula that will get rid of virtually any stain. Excuse me sir, what if I said I could make that beer-drenched shirt look as good as new. | |
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| Well...I would clap my testicles together as fast as I can and shout, "YEEHAW, motherfucker, there is the cream filling!" | |
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| That's what I say! Also, what if you could get a 12 ounce bottle of OxiClean for the amazing low price of $56.95. What do you say to that, my friend. | |
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| Holy fucking shit, that ultimate low price could get you at least 17 hand jobs from the bitches with genital herpes at the Motel 6 across the street from my abusive uncle's house. | |
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| Owning a great product like this would make your woman would ride your bones hours on end without saying, "Are you done yet?" or "HELL NO, you can't stick it in there!" | |
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| America these days! Why the hell is this quality television on at...3:48 in the morning. This is Prime Time shit right here. Watch out Diane Sawyer. | |
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