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| I'm glad you asked me that, son. I fought in World War Two, you know. Pull a chair and sit down. | |
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| In 1941, Hitler enslaved Germany with his mind control helmet and forced them to take over the world. They developed awful weapons like the V1, which was like a big grenade that could blow up a city. | |
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| England was the first to try to stop Hitler, but they couldn't do it alone, so they formed an alliance with Scotland and Ireland and called it the United Kingdom. | |
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| I worked for the United Kingdom as a ninja at first, but ninjas became obsolete when they invented machine guns, so I was forced to steal one of the V1 grenades and smuggle it to Hiroshima. | |
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| Unfortunately, Hitler found me and intercepted the V1, blowing up Hiroshima and himself when he spiked it into the ground. And that, son, is why we have football. | |
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