JohnnyPolite  

So, I've been thinking about the universe...

That's never good. You should stop. Here, try this "Semen in a cup," it's delicious.

Okay, so assuming the big bang theory is right and the universe started off at one point and expanded in all directions at the same rate. Then the universe would have to be spherical.

Of course.

Then what's outside that sphere? Nothing? How do you define nothing? Define it, and it becomes something! I can't conceive of nothing. ... That hasn't got any alcohol in it, has it?

No, but we can pretend.