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Substance Abuse
by
Matchbook_Romance
1-11-04
Hey Jesus, what can I get for you today?
Hmm...
How about your usual hamburger and water?
You read my mind.
Oh and Jesus, if you turn your water into wine again, I'm going to have to charge you.
Blah, blah, blah, I can't hear you.
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Matchbook_Romance's Comics
07/02/15 - Zero to Sixty to About Thirty
05/28/15 - Must Be A Thing
05/13/15 - A Mortal Strike
05/12/15 - Hate Me or Just Like Me
12/15/14 - One For Another
12/04/14 - Been a Week
01/02/11 - Checklist
12/11/06 - Camel Toe
12/11/06 - Come And Meet My Best Friend
12/10/06 - Just Picture Us
10/18/06 - Good Lookin' Out Ma!
09/28/06 - Apply Yourself
09/27/06 - The Most Hetero Song I Know
05/31/06 - Try, I must
02/09/06 - I AM NOT STRIPGUEST234
02/06/06 - Whoops, I'm Supposed To Be Away!
10/01/05 - If The Shoe Fits
09/27/05 - Oh, The Womenz
09/06/05 - You Might Understand
08/21/05 - Say Ny Mame
07/07/05 - His Other Job
06/22/05 - This Boring Saga
06/15/05 - The Bagel Strikes Back
04/28/05 - 6) AYA?
03/24/05 - 5) AYA?
03/20/05 - 4) AYA?
03/18/05 - 3) AYA?
03/18/05 - 2) AYA?
03/18/05 - 1) AYA? (400th Comic)
02/14/05 - In Reference To...
02/07/05 - When Was Last Night?
02/06/05 - The Super... What?
01/16/05 - Bee, Flower
01/03/05 - Father, Farther
12/24/04 - My Girlfriend Hates Hot Dogs
12/24/04 - Christmas Eve: 5:45PM
12/24/04 - This Has Something To Do With Christmas
12/08/04 - My Last Licks- 5
12/04/04 - My Last Licks- 4
11/29/04 - My Last Licks- 3
11/28/04 - My Last Licks- 2
11/28/04 - My Last Licks- 1
11/25/04 - My Second Thanksgiving Here
10/31/04 - I Have Balls
10/24/04 - Who Says So?
09/26/04 - Solid and Plaid
09/17/04 - CC258: A Pirate's Life For Me
08/14/04 - Bagel Outtakes (2D)
08/14/04 - Bagel Outtakes (1D)
08/11/04 - Bagel Outtakes (2C)
08/11/04 - Bagel Outtakes (1C)
07/26/04 - Bagel Outtakes (2B)
07/26/04 - Bagel Outtakes (1B)
07/25/04 - Bagel Outtakes (2A)
07/25/04 - Bagel Outtakes (1A)
07/15/04 - Finger Counting
07/11/04 - Phonophobia
07/05/04 - Visionary
06/17/04 - Great Prices At Great Clips! (You Did It Too)
06/15/04 - Bagel Tales-10 (Huzzah For San Diego)
06/10/04 - Bagel Tales-9 (Atkin's Diet Approved)
06/06/04 - Bagel Tales-8 (Internationally Known)
06/03/04 - Bagel Tales-7 (We Don't Sell Hot Dogs)
06/02/04 - Bagel Tales-6 (Cold As Ice)
06/02/04 - Bagel Tales-5 (Butter Me Up)
05/28/04 - Bagel Tales-4 (The Water Is Poison)
05/25/04 - Did I Do This Right?
05/25/04 - Bagel Tales-3 (A Clean Sweep)
05/23/04 - Bagel Tales-2 (See The Difference)
05/23/04 - Bagel Tales-1 (New Beginnings)
05/19/04 - Multiple Choice
05/17/04 - I Live Right By One
05/11/04 - Your Locket Is Still In My Room (My Side 5)
05/11/04 - Your Locket Is Still In My Room (My Side 4)
05/11/04 - Your Locket Is Still In My Room (My Side 3)
05/11/04 - Your Locket Is Still In My Room (My Side 2)
05/11/04 - Your Locket Is Still In My Room (My Side 1)
05/10/04 - I Swear I'm Filipino
05/04/04 - Blind Date (350th Comic)
05/03/04 - Request For Backup
04/30/04 - Monkey Around
04/25/04 - It's Been Awhile Eh?
04/22/04 - The Same Mistake
04/19/04 - My Friends, Everyone
04/17/04 - HEY, I Have Feelings Too!
04/15/04 - My Teacher, Everyone
04/14/04 - My Peers Judge Me (6)
04/14/04 - My Peers Judge Me (5)
04/14/04 - My Peers Judge Me (4)
04/14/04 - My Peers Judge Me (3)
04/14/04 - My Peers Judge Me (2)
04/14/04 - My Peers Judge Me (1)
04/13/04 - I Played Golf Yesterday
04/13/04 - Escape Artist
04/13/04 - Watching The Creek
04/01/04 - The Greatest April Fool's Comic
03/30/04 - CC238: Boinked Boinky?
03/28/04 - Dcomposed And I (2)
03/25/04 - Dcomposed And I (1)
03/22/04 - The Suicide File (5, CC237)
03/20/04 - The Suicide File (4)
03/17/04 - The Suicide File (3)
03/15/04 - The Suicide File (2)
03/15/04 - The Suicide File (1)
03/12/04 - For mmyers
03/10/04 - PLOP!
03/08/04 - Was It Good For You?
03/06/04 - Tommorrow We'll Do It Again
03/04/04 - Bribe To Be
03/03/04 - Wall-Full
03/01/04 - Rubbing-It-In Alcohol
02/27/04 - I Love Ya Beaz
02/26/04 - Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!
02/25/04 - Rack Em' Up
02/24/04 - Genetic Engineer
02/21/04 - Hash Brown
02/20/04 - Annunciate Before You Ejaculate
02/18/04 - CC233: I Dream Of Matchy
02/18/04 - I Happen To Love Your Car
02/15/04 - Sport Fan
02/14/04 - My Bloody Valentine (8)
02/12/04 - My Bloody Valentine (7)
02/09/04 - My Bloody Valentine (6)
02/08/04 - My Bloody Valentine (5)
02/06/04 - My Bloody Valentine (4)
02/06/04 - My Bloody Valentine (3)
02/05/04 - My Bloody Valentine (2)
02/05/04 - My Bloody Valentine (1)
02/04/04 - 300th Comic Romance
02/02/04 - You're A Dork!
01/30/04 - He Shoots, He Scores
01/27/04 - Reversal
01/27/04 - Giving Up
01/25/04 - Literally
01/24/04 - Work Space
01/23/04 - Feast Like Kings
01/22/04 - An "F" For Effort
01/22/04 - Did It Again
01/21/04 - Puberty
01/20/04 - Truth Be Told
01/19/04 - Habitual
01/18/04 - You're A Phone Whore!
01/18/04 - For The little_kitty
01/17/04 - You're A Something That Is Sorry!
01/17/04 - You're A Punk!
01/17/04 - You're A Porn Star!
01/17/04 - You're A Cancer!
01/15/04 - Sealed
01/15/04 - Two Way
01/14/04 - Information Commercial
01/14/04 - Blunt
01/13/04 - Ol' Faithful
01/13/04 - Enhanced
01/12/04 - I Remember...
01/11/04 - Substance Abuse
01/11/04 - This Is Your Life
01/09/04 - Job Hunter (5)
01/08/04 - Job Hunter (4)
01/06/04 - Job Hunter (3)
01/05/04 - Job Hunter (2)
01/04/04 - Job Hunter (1)
01/02/04 - 19
01/02/04 - CC 227: Jacko Confessional
01/02/04 - CC 227: How My Ex Looks When I'm Not Drunk
01/02/04 - CC 227: Job Options
01/02/04 - CC 227: Where Whales Ejaculate
01/02/04 - CC 227: Gabe Has Lunch
01/02/04 - CC 227: Pussy Fart
01/02/04 - CC 227: Matchbook_Romance's Friend List
01/02/04 - CC 227: Boinky Out Of The Bathroom
01/02/04 - CC 227: Sandwich
01/02/04 - CC 227: Midget Comedian
01/01/04 - A New Year
12/31/03 - Apologize
12/30/03 - Anti (2)
12/30/03 - Anti (1)
12/28/03 - Brown Guy
12/28/03 - Black Guy
12/28/03 - White Guy (250th Comic)
12/28/03 - Take Charge (DJ Bargaintuan Cut)
12/27/03 - Take Charge
12/26/03 - About California Drivers
12/25/03 - Under The Tree
12/24/03 - Holiday Cheer
12/23/03 - Dream To Make Believe
12/23/03 - Dry Humor
12/22/03 - Birthday Blues (15, Alternate Ending)
12/22/03 - Birthday Blues (14)
12/22/03 - Birthday Blues (13)
12/22/03 - Birthday Blues (12)
12/21/03 - Birthday Blues (11)
12/19/03 - Birthday Blues (10)
12/18/03 - Birthday Blues (9)
12/18/03 - Birthday Blues (8)
12/18/03 - Birthday Blues (7)
12/17/03 - Birthday Blues (6)
12/17/03 - Birthday Blues (5)
12/17/03 - Birthday Blues (4)
12/17/03 - Birthday Blues (3)
12/17/03 - Birthday Blues (2)
12/17/03 - Birthday Blues (1)
12/16/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (10)
12/16/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (9)
12/16/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (8)
12/15/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (7)
12/14/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (6)
12/13/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (5, for ivytheplant)
12/13/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (4)
12/13/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (3)
12/13/03 - Why I Hate My Parents (2)
12/13/03 - Why I Hate My Parents
12/13/03 - CC224: Dis is like dat one moovie 'Twins' (4)
12/11/03 - CC224: Dis is like dat moovie 'Twins'!!! (2)
12/11/03 - Christmas Variation (10)
12/11/03 - Christmas Variation (9)
12/10/03 - Christmas Variation (8)
12/10/03 - Christmas Variation (7)
12/10/03 - Christmas Variation (6)
12/10/03 - Christmas Variation (5)
12/10/03 - Christmas Variation (4)
12/10/03 - Christmas Variation (3)
12/10/03 - Christmas Variation (2)
12/09/03 - Christmas Variation (1)
12/09/03 - Run That By Me Again
12/09/03 - The Ears Have It
12/08/03 - Life Gets Demanding
12/07/03 - What In God's Name
12/06/03 - The Writing Is On The Wall
12/06/03 - A Quiet Reflection (200th Comic)
12/04/03 - Well, I Thought...
12/04/03 - Why I Like dcomposed
12/03/03 - Snow In San Diego
12/03/03 - Maybe Next Time!
12/02/03 - Your Father Loves You
12/01/03 - You Know You Love Me
12/01/03 - Never End On a Bad Note
11/30/03 - Dearest Friend
11/30/03 - For Dummies
11/29/03 - You Were There In Spirit
11/29/03 - For AccentuateNegative
11/27/03 - ThanksGIVING (For boinky33)
11/26/03 - FTC #11: A Very, Very, Santa Story
11/26/03 - A Warm One (Happy Thanksgiving)
11/25/03 - Art With Heart
11/25/03 - Playing For The Other Team
11/23/03 - MJ Revealed
11/23/03 - The Obvious
11/22/03 - That Damn Friday
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #20 (#10 With Words And Conclusion)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #19 (#9 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #18 (#8 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #17 (#7 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #16 (#6 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #15 (#5 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #14 (#4 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #13 (#3 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #12 (#2 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #11 (#1 With Words)
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #10
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #9
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #8
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #7
11/22/03 - No Word Theater #6
11/21/03 - No Word Theater #5
11/21/03 - No Word Theater #4
11/21/03 - No Word Theater #3
11/21/03 - No Word Theater #2
11/21/03 - No Word Theater #1
11/20/03 - Spamburger
11/20/03 - UMFUMDAILY (11/20/03)
11/18/03 - The Failed Essay Plan
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #10 (Conclusion)
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #9
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #8
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #7
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #6
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #5
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #4
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #3 (150th Comic)
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #2
11/17/03 - What School Learned Me: Period #1
11/16/03 - FTC #9: God's Gift To Women
11/16/03 - FTC #9: Just Ask God
11/16/03 - FTC #9: Identity Crisis
11/15/03 - It Starts And Ends Here
11/14/03 - A Very Christian Game
11/14/03 - Drug Addiction, The Family Affair
11/13/03 - Kind Of Like Superman
11/12/03 - FTC #8: Our Relative Relatives
11/12/03 - Emocracy: Song #10 (Tearjerker)
11/12/03 - Emocracy: Song #9 (Violence Is The Answer)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #8 (Lead On And Let Down)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #7 (Call Waiting)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #6 (Over-Zealous Jealous)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #5 (The Name Game)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #4 (Dance Fever)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #3 (Heart Warming)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #2 (Break Free)
11/11/03 - Emocracy: Song #1 (Intro)
11/10/03 - UMFUMDAILY #2 (11-11-03)
11/10/03 - UMFUMDAILY (11-11-03)
11/10/03 - The Nutrient Neglect
11/10/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #21
11/09/03 - Friday Night Flashback (Inside Joke)
11/08/03 - CC219: It's Quite Alright
11/08/03 - How My Yesterday's Friday Went (Really)
11/07/03 - The Love I have For My Friends
11/06/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #20
11/05/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #19
11/04/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #18
11/02/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #17
11/01/03 - Post-Halloween Report
11/01/03 - On My Halloween...
10/31/03 - Add-A-Panel: Strip 9, Panel 3
10/30/03 - Sex, Booze, Fire, And School
10/29/03 - Add-A-Panel: Strip 8, Panel 2
10/29/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #16
10/29/03 - FTC#6: In Need Of Support
10/28/03 - Target: Planet Earth #11 (Conclusion)
10/28/03 - Add-A-Panel: Strip 6, Panel 3
10/27/03 - And The Horsemen Shall Come...
10/26/03 - Add-A-Panel: Strip 4, Panel 2
10/25/03 - Add-A-Panel: Strip 1, Panel 3
10/25/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #15
10/23/03 - FTC #V: Under The Sea, Under The Sea...
10/23/03 - FTC #V: POOr McDonalds
10/22/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #14
10/20/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #13 (FABLED RETURN)
10/19/03 - 100th Comic SMASH!
10/19/03 - FTC #4: The Doctor Is In
10/17/03 - FTC #4: Sharing Is Daring
10/17/03 - CC216: Oh, That One Game
10/15/03 - Target: Planet Earth #11 (Special Edition, CC216)
10/15/03 - CC216: Kiwis R Us
10/15/03 - Target: Planet Earth #10
10/15/03 - Target: Planet Earth #9
10/14/03 - Target: Planet Earth #8
10/13/03 - Barely Legal
10/12/03 - CC215: Iraqi Days And Nights
10/12/03 - CC215: A Rapist Wit
10/12/03 - Target: Planet Earth #7
10/10/03 - Target: Planet Earth #6
10/10/03 - Considered It Captioned!!!
10/10/03 - Target: Planet Earth #5
10/09/03 - Target: Planet Earth #4
10/09/03 - Target: Planet Earth #3
10/08/03 - Target: Planet Earth #2
10/08/03 - Target: Planet Earth #1
10/07/03 - Score One For The Terminator
10/07/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #12
10/06/03 - CC214: Walk The Plank
10/05/03 - CC2124: Jesus Loves All The Little Kitties
10/05/03 - Real Life Situation, Well Almost
10/05/03 - Don't Hold Your Breath
10/04/03 - The Green Destiny
10/04/03 - This Just In, You Suck
10/04/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #11
10/02/03 - Ask Him To Do A Card Trick
10/02/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #10
10/02/03 - Didn't I Ever Tell You Not To Stare?
10/01/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #9
10/01/03 - CC213: When You Need Absinth The Most
09/29/03 - YAHOO For Yahoo
09/29/03 - With Love From Your Father
09/29/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #8
09/28/03 - Wishing You Were In The Back Of The Line
09/28/03 - A Little Too Late
09/28/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #7
09/28/03 - Pigs Can Be Your Friend Too
09/27/03 - Stay Home And Enjoy Your Mother's Chicken Pot Pie
09/27/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #6
09/26/03 - Nike Has Nothing On This
09/25/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #5
09/25/03 - Questions That Lead To More Questions
09/23/03 - Do You Really Get Off Chopping Up A Bumble Bee?
09/23/03 - CC212: Cocaine With Clango
09/23/03 - CC212: Tard Boy and Finkelman
09/23/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #4
09/22/03 - 50th Comic SMASH!
09/22/03 - THe Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #3
09/21/03 - Ode To TELEPHONE_COMICS
09/21/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #2
09/21/03 - The Hopeful Un-Romantic: Session #1
09/20/03 - CC221: Your Donkey Brother From Another Mother
09/20/03 - CC211: Penguin and Pencil
09/20/03 - Going Down The 12 Step Program
09/18/03 - Can I Get My Long Island Icetea To Go?
09/17/03 - They Aren't After Me For Me Lucky Charms
09/17/03 - Happiness Comes From HDB
09/11/03 - When You Want To See Your Friends, AIM To Kill
09/10/03 - The International League of Irregular Party People
09/08/03 - A Secret Told Through The Lungs
09/06/03 - Back, And Whiter Than Ever Before
09/05/03 - Why Your Girlfriend Slept With Your Father
09/04/03 - Don't Look Down!
09/01/03 - Prelude To Nowhere (Part 6 END)
09/01/03 - Prelude To Nowhere (Part 5)
09/01/03 - Prelude To Nowhere (Part 4)
09/01/03 - Prelude To Nowhere (Part 3)
09/01/03 - Prelude To Nowhere (Part 2)
09/01/03 - Prelude To Nowhere (Part 1)
08/30/03 - Bullet2020 Solo
08/29/03 - Sex Scene Solo
08/28/03 - Bully and Jeffrey Duet
08/25/03 - Parking Lot and Teacher Duet
08/21/03 - Political Mambo
08/20/03 - Mingling Mambo
08/16/03 - Jon Staccato
08/15/03 - Hammer Staccato
08/14/03 - Beat Down Scale
08/14/03 - Conversation Scale
08/11/03 - Buffet Medley
08/11/03 - Haunting Medley
08/10/03 - The End Is Nigh Samba
08/10/03 - Random Samba
08/07/03 - Awards Shuffle (Part 5 END)
08/07/03 - Awards Shuffle (Part 4)
08/07/03 - Awards Shuffle (Part 3)
08/06/03 - Awards Shuffle (Part 2)
08/06/03 - Awards Shuffle (Part 1)
08/06/03 - Bribery Tango
08/05/03 - On AIM Tango
08/04/03 - Going To Hell In C Minor
08/01/03 - Introduction In C Minor
08/01/03 - Chumley Waltz
07/30/03 - Old Skool Waltz
07/30/03 - Romantic Blues
07/30/03 - College Blues
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