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| I lost my job and my wife left me for some robot with a nail in his head. | |
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| So, look on the bright side! You're young, talented, and you have wonderful opportunities ahead of you! | |
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| I feel like God is just sitting up there laughing at me! What's next, Armageddon? | |
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| You're such a pessimist! That's never going to happen! | |
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