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| I would like to report a car jacking. They jumped me and took my car keys, beating me while singing Digital Underground's, "The Humpty Dance". | |
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| Hmm...that's a good song. Well, I wish I could help you...but I'm a security guard. | |
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| Doesn't that mean that you're the exact person who's SUPPOSED to help me? I mean they're just sitting right there ten feet away. You watched them do it! | |
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| Listen, there are two rules of being a security guard, Rule 1--Do as little as you can while still managing to be as self important and condescending as possible for a whopping $9.50 an hour. | |
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| And 2,--to grow a mustache that would make Burt Reynolds cry with pride. | |
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| I'll just take the bus.----- "I like to rhyme Iike my beats funky--I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy." -----Great. Now I've got that song stuck in my head....AND a possible concussion. | |
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