Once upon a time a fairy godmother granted life to a small bird house. The only catch was that this bird house would fall in love with anyone who ever said the word "Ham".
Tragically though, the bird house unprepared for the shock of life suffered a fatal heart attack the second it first looked upon the world and tumbled from the tree to the ground below.
Even more tragically, a young couple having afternoon tea precariously near a land mine were blown to pieces after the bird house detonated said land mine.
Into the air their pieces fell, showering upon the land like a million tiny glistening jewels.
And that's why we Celebrate Christmas.
(This story is so good, when I tell it my grandma gives birth to an entire german family.)
