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| Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the RACOON CITY NEWS. Dixie Normus here in the Channel 3 news room. | |
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| The dead walk among us! In passing hours, more and more reports of flesh eating monsters, or"zombies", have flooded police telephones. The policemen are completely baffled on what to do! | |
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| So you said he bit you, then you proceeded to pull out your gun and kill him. And now you're complaining of your body parts falling off and having acquired the taste for flesh? | |
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| Yes officer that seems about right, and now I'm so hungry.. | |
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| Alright, you're going to jail for first degree manslaughter. | |
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