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Screwball
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I'm either unfunny or uncool. Either works.
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There's a train leaving at 5AM, be under it.
by
Screwball
2-22-09
Another brilliant idea I had was going out to Hunters in EGV without cab fare, only bus fare.
You ever tried walking through Elk Grove Village??
You won't get this joke unless you live in IL.
I kept looking for signs saying "What the fuck are you doing in our town, bitch? And by the way, visit Heavenly Bodies on Elmhurst and Oakton!"
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Screwball's Comics
02/23/09 - Moving day.
02/23/09 - 20 dolla, mista!
02/23/09 - Those are not the bright lights of a disco ball, right?
02/23/09 - Sadly, Z was nowhere in sight.
02/22/09 - Cast 2
02/22/09 - Cast 1
02/22/09 - So, what's wrong here?
02/22/09 - And he's sacked.
02/22/09 - Unfortunately, I was proven right.
02/22/09 - I am not a hypocrite. Right?
02/22/09 - There's a train leaving at 5AM, be under it.
02/22/09 - I attract bad luck, part one.
02/15/09 - The hell that awaits those of us who intend to date one day.
02/15/09 - Can we keep these to a minimum?
02/15/09 - Loveline won't be right back...
02/15/09 - You miss good stuff when you don't listen.
02/15/09 - You're either emo or gay. And you aren't wearing any makeup.
02/15/09 - A brother's love, right?
02/10/09 - Actually, I probably do hate him.
02/10/09 - Haven't I gotten past this yet?
02/10/09 - There are no bodies in my backyard. I think.
02/10/09 - Why me?
02/10/09 - He hate me.
02/03/09 - A disgrace, I tell ya!
02/03/09 - These are the kind of jokes I think of.
02/03/09 - The 7 minute theory, Conclusion.
02/03/09 - The 7 Minute Theory, part 7.
02/03/09 - The 7 Minute Theory, part 6
02/03/09 - The 7 minute theory, part 5.
02/03/09 - The 7 Minute Theory, part 4
02/03/09 - The 7 minute theory, part 3.
02/03/09 - The 7 minute theory, part 2.
02/03/09 - The 7 minute theory, part 1.
02/03/09 - No one ever laughs when I say this.
02/03/09 - Fell back down.
01/20/09 - Reverse Twist of the Knife.
01/20/09 - OATB, but without the 5-0's
01/20/09 - My favorite subjects...
01/15/09 - Options?
01/15/09 - Welcome to Starr Slurp!
01/15/09 - Slurp?
01/15/09 - School dayz.
01/15/09 - Well, I AM in my third day of college...
01/15/09 - But DID someone tell you?
01/15/09 - Numbers change reality. Right?
01/15/09 - OATB 6
01/15/09 - Uh, IS this all I ever think about?
07/16/08 - Come on, you knew it!
07/16/08 - Stoning the Stoner
07/16/08 - Real American Bottoms.
07/16/08 - Not subtle. Possibly indecent.
07/16/08 - Thrown Copper (as in, Pennies)
07/16/08 - Uh, uh huh.
07/12/08 - Obsession isn't just a perfume.
07/12/08 - Breaking it down
07/12/08 - A dick joke.
06/24/08 - This has been Loveline...
06/24/08 - Like he didn't see this coming.
06/24/08 - I can't win.
06/24/08 - Don't be a weird boy! (like me, Exile?)
06/24/08 - Topic idea received.
06/24/08 - Information Age.
06/24/08 - Obligatory GameFaqs tie-in
06/24/08 - I believe this is called "Screwed"
06/24/08 - Mary Worth? Apt.3G?
06/24/08 - Exaggerations?
06/24/08 - JB
06/24/08 - Anger, Denial...WHAT?
06/24/08 - Are we beginning to become repetitive? Nah!
06/24/08 - He never said he didn't...
06/08/08 - OATB 5
06/08/08 - Editor's note.
06/08/08 - You ruin everything, jerk!
06/08/08 - They're better than we are, aren't they?
06/08/08 - I'm not unattractive!
06/08/08 - Talking Beds? I swear I don't smoke 420.
06/08/08 - No help, as always
06/08/08 - Jealous.
05/31/08 - If you know me, this is funny.
05/31/08 - Yeah, how?
05/31/08 - I stand 2
05/31/08 - I stand 1
05/08/08 - Four less years!
03/07/08 - I am (Very) Gay! Roars Larry Craig!
03/07/08 - I'd like to avoid this, if at all possible
03/07/08 - He's back.
03/07/08 - Donnawonna, huh?
03/07/08 - untitled
03/07/08 - Pre-out at the bars.
03/07/08 - I guess.
03/07/08 - Warp speed, Mr.Sulu!
02/13/08 - You can try suing me too!
02/13/08 - out at the bars 4
02/13/08 - Evil never dies. Nor do bad movies or bad actresses.
02/13/08 - Out at the bars, part 3
02/13/08 - out at the bars, part 2.
02/13/08 - Out at the bars, part 1.
02/13/08 - Ridiculous things we do to save money, part 2
02/13/08 - We do ridiculous things to save money.
02/13/08 - Stop me before I vote again!
02/13/08 - This is what happens to MY brain.
02/13/08 - This is a real conversation.
01/01/08 - We're not too far from things like this.
10/10/06 - Never give blowjobs in the dark
10/10/06 - Justin.
10/10/06 - And yet, I don't shut up.
10/10/06 - At least it wasn't Rob Halford.
09/21/06 - I ain't the Viper!
09/21/06 - More of that humor Tom Barnard didn't see coming.
09/21/06 - My ego...1
09/07/06 - I've never seen anyone do this drunk. Except me.
09/07/06 - Imagine the submission scream from No Mercy...
09/07/06 - Thanks, AccentuateNegative!
08/31/06 - E=FU2
08/31/06 - No flamers were hurt in the making of this comic...
08/31/06 - Sometimes I take this too seriously.
08/01/06 - Gah! I didn't say this, did I?
08/01/06 - Hey, drugs!
07/31/06 - Don't encourage him.
07/31/06 - Rejected Mastercard Messages, part 4
07/31/06 - Rejected Mastercard Messages, part 3
07/31/06 - Rejected Mastercard Messages, part 2
07/31/06 - Rejected Mastercard Messages, pt.1.
07/31/06 - Jokes.
07/30/06 - I was gonna...
07/30/06 - Inventions of a lesser mind.
07/30/06 - How many of these did Babe Ruth hit?
07/30/06 - Republican Man: Sound those trumpets!
07/30/06 - Politics as usual.
07/30/06 - 100...of what?
07/30/06 - Captain Ahab lives!
07/30/06 - Of blanking course.
07/30/06 - How bout it?
07/30/06 - Josh comes back.
07/26/06 - Guess who's coming to dinner??
07/26/06 - I pushed it too far.
07/26/06 - For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.
07/25/06 - Guys will do anything IF...
07/25/06 - Zippy!
07/25/06 - Thanks, Sean Penn!
07/24/06 - Luca Brasi sleeps with the Ramen.
07/24/06 - Dictator-ick
07/24/06 - Dictator-ish.
07/24/06 - Up and Down.
07/24/06 - The PHB is close by.
07/24/06 - Absurdities.
07/24/06 - Seeing too much of each other?
07/24/06 - Ah bin dweenkin, and dweenkin, and dweenkin...
07/24/06 - Como! (COMO)
07/24/06 - 41 years old. Wants to play next year. Who needs him?
07/24/06 - Maybe there's something to be said for spinelessness...
07/24/06 - Do I look like fucking Al Jarreau?
07/24/06 - A New World Ohrder
07/24/06 - Jesse never said this, and for that I love him.
07/24/06 - Julio
07/24/06 - Love/Loathe.Feelings about Jesse Martinez.
07/24/06 - Jesse and I, part 2.
07/24/06 - Jesse and I, part 1.
07/24/06 - Laylani
07/24/06 - Snake
07/24/06 - Justin.
07/24/06 - Well, what can I say?
07/24/06 - I'm probably going to be killed by Roger Waters.
07/24/06 - I don't think this is what they meant.
07/24/06 - The return of...who, again?
02/19/05 - Futuristic?
02/14/05 - Why Snake ignores my suggestions.
02/14/05 - Allen's folly
02/14/05 - Laylani...
02/11/05 - Josh8
02/11/05 - It Starts, part 2.
02/11/05 - It Starts.
02/11/05 - Allen
02/04/05 - Think about it 2
01/27/05 - Slapnuts part 2
01/27/05 - Slapnuts, part 1
01/27/05 - Things 2
01/27/05 - Jesse, you're a prick!
01/27/05 - A little fun
01/27/05 - This is what I wake up to.
01/16/05 - Imagine That.
01/16/05 - Porn?
01/16/05 - Untitled.
01/13/05 - Scorn VI
01/09/05 - Scorn V
01/09/05 - Scorn IV
01/09/05 - Scorn III
01/09/05 - Scorn II
01/09/05 - Scorn I
01/09/05 - Think about it.
12/29/04 - Twan cares.
12/29/04 - Josh7
12/29/04 - Convos with Jeff
12/29/04 - I Am The Walrus, Koo Koo Ga Joob!
12/29/04 - Bad Things, part X
12/29/04 - Josh's attempt to woo Donna Marie
12/29/04 - Yet another reason women rule the world.
12/29/04 - Excuses, excuses
12/29/04 - Yep.
12/29/04 - Logic. Missing. Here.
12/26/04 - The War is ON 5
12/26/04 - The War is ON! 4
12/26/04 - The War is ON! 3
12/26/04 - The War is ON! 2
12/26/04 - The War is ON!
12/26/04 - INCENTIVE!
12/26/04 - Mop's in charge.
12/26/04 - Mop's here.
12/26/04 - Second Date.
12/26/04 - Stupidity always wins, part 2
12/26/04 - What Jesse doesn't know, he can guess
12/26/04 - Just because it's 2004...
12/26/04 - Roiding Up
12/26/04 - Deep Questions, part 2
12/26/04 - Deep questions, part 1
12/26/04 - No, we're NOT Michael and Brian.
12/26/04 - Inside Joke
12/21/04 - This is how it is.
12/21/04 - Cheap shots.
12/21/04 - Other things.
12/21/04 - Quiet.
12/19/04 - Stupidity always wins.
12/17/04 - A connection between the election and TV, part 1
12/17/04 - Untitled
12/13/04 - Untitled
12/13/04 - No Fair!
12/12/04 - Reflections by CCMike
12/12/04 - Untitled
12/11/04 - Untitled
12/09/04 - Untitled
12/03/04 - Untitled
12/03/04 - Untitled
12/03/04 - Revelations Redux
12/02/04 - Things
12/02/04 - Untitled
12/02/04 - At Bars, part 3
12/02/04 - At Bars, part 3
12/02/04 - At Bars, part 2
12/02/04 - Laylani...
12/02/04 - Mike's adventures
12/01/04 - Untitled
12/01/04 - At Bars, part.1
11/28/04 - Untitled
11/28/04 - This just gets weirder...
11/28/04 - The Realm of the Ridiculous.
11/28/04 - Untitled
11/28/04 - The return of Republican Man
11/27/04 - Elimifake 4
11/27/04 - Elimifake part 3
11/27/04 - Elimifake, part 2.
11/27/04 - Eliminfake.
11/27/04 - Yet another chapter in Bad Things
11/27/04 - Twan and Sarah
11/27/04 - Reflections V
11/26/04 - Daniela 3
11/26/04 - Untitled
11/26/04 - Reflections 5
11/25/04 - Now he starts to get it
11/25/04 - Motivations part 5
11/25/04 - Motivations part 4
11/25/04 - Newt is an idiot...but we knew that already.
11/25/04 - Daniela part 2
11/25/04 - Dawny's White House.
11/25/04 - Devastation
11/25/04 - This wasn't going well...
11/25/04 - Motivations: III
11/25/04 - Motivations, part 4
11/25/04 - Motivations, part 2
11/25/04 - Snake and I discuss the motivations, part 1
11/25/04 - Bi people and straight people speak different languages.
11/25/04 - Untitled
11/25/04 - Untitled
11/25/04 - Reflections IV
11/25/04 - Reflections part III
11/24/04 - Untitled
11/23/04 - Josh and Matt
11/23/04 - Josh tries to recover
11/23/04 - In-joke
11/22/04 - Fucking Libras, part 2
11/22/04 - Talking with Jesse. Always a bad move. Fucking Libras.
11/22/04 - Reflections:Part 2
11/22/04 - Lexi's decision
11/22/04 - So will Lexi give up her soul?
11/22/04 - Jazi and Luke begin
11/22/04 - Reflections, part 1.
11/22/04 - Why people never ask advice from Jeff
11/22/04 - Craig makes his pitch.
11/22/04 - Craig appeals to Lexi.
11/22/04 - Untitled
11/22/04 - Snake and I compare things.
11/22/04 - Untitled
11/22/04 - Josh and Sarah's date, part 1
11/22/04 - Thoughts from my sick little mind
11/18/04 - Twan's face-breaker
11/18/04 - Why I don't whine to Laylani
11/18/04 - Craig.
11/18/04 - This is actually how I am.
11/15/04 - Newt and America's future.
11/15/04 - Sometimes even I think I should shut up.
11/15/04 - Slash
11/15/04 - Untitled
11/14/04 - Newt talks to America's future, part 3
11/13/04 - Newt talks to America's future, part 2
11/13/04 - Newt talks to America's future.
11/12/04 - Lexi and Neal...somewhere.
11/12/04 - Untitled
11/12/04 - And then...blackness
11/12/04 - And then...blackness
11/12/04 - Josh at @mosphere
11/12/04 - I think something bad happened...
11/11/04 - Josh6
11/11/04 - Twan hires Josh's bodyguard.
11/11/04 - Josh, Josh, Josh...
11/11/04 - Josh gets the gate.
11/11/04 - Why I don't date anyone in the strip
11/11/04 - Untitled
11/11/04 - What Newt needs.
11/11/04 - Dawny and Jeff
11/10/04 - Craig explains it to Neal
11/10/04 - Neal fucks up.
11/10/04 - Neal and I, fighting over Lexi...
11/10/04 - Neal and I begin flapping our gums, part 3
11/10/04 - Neal and I begin flapping our gums, part 2
11/10/04 - Neal and I begin flapping our gums, part 1
11/10/04 - Slowly I turned...crazy.
11/10/04 - Things that drive me insane.
11/10/04 - Josh3
11/10/04 - Josh2
11/10/04 - Josh.
11/10/04 - Dawny's white house, part 1
11/10/04 - And now, Dawny's Secretary of Defense
11/10/04 - Dawny's new Secretary of State
11/10/04 - I guess Newt is a bit...dumb
11/10/04 - Has Neal really changed?
11/09/04 - Dawny tries to get used to life with Newt, part 2
11/09/04 - Untitled
11/09/04 - Dawny tries to get used to life with Newt.
11/09/04 - Talking to Luke, part 2
11/09/04 - Talking to Luke
11/09/04 - Jokes granddad told you.
11/09/04 - This is why I don't give advice.
11/09/04 - Men and Women talk two different languages.
11/09/04 - Tim and Mike, part 1.
11/09/04 - Tim arrives in Tulsa, pt.1
11/09/04 - Why Mike hates when people visit Oklahoma, part 2
11/09/04 - Why Mike hates it when people visit Oklahoma, part 1
11/09/04 - Talking to Laylani
11/09/04 - Deep Thoughts
11/09/04 - Getting advice from Nichol.
11/09/04 - Lexi wonders about Neal, part 2.
11/09/04 - Lexi wonders about Neal...part 1
11/09/04 - This is NOT why I have straight friends
11/09/04 - And that ends that
11/09/04 - Mike and Sarah....Even I''m not sure what's going on here
11/08/04 - Mike and Sarah...
11/08/04 - Is it close for Mike??
11/08/04 - CC Mike again
11/08/04 - Neal and Lexi, sitting in a tree (3)
11/08/04 - Neal and Lexi, sitting in a tree (2)
11/08/04 - Luke and Jazi, part two
11/08/04 - I need to get laid, part 2
11/08/04 - I need to get laid, part.1
11/08/04 - Neal and Lexi, sitting in a tree
11/08/04 - Dawny's mistake, part 4
11/08/04 - Dawny's mistake, part 3
11/08/04 - Dawny's mistake, part 2
11/08/04 - Dawny's mistake
11/08/04 - Intro...Dawny
11/08/04 - Mike's delirious
11/08/04 - And we wonder why Mike doesn't get laid...
11/08/04 - Mike's living in the wrong time
11/08/04 - CC Mike spouts off.
11/08/04 - CC Mike...himself
11/08/04 - The intro of CC Mike
11/08/04 - Discussions with Matt
11/08/04 - Things always come back to haunt you
11/08/04 - More times when having straight friends is not a good thing
11/08/04 - So this is Josh.
11/08/04 - Luke's revelation!
11/08/04 - Luke finds something good.
11/08/04 - Untitled
11/08/04 - Untitled
11/08/04 - Untitled
11/08/04 - The Grim...something.
11/08/04 - Untitled
11/08/04 - Bad Things, part 1
11/08/04 - Laylani's dilemna
11/08/04 - Introducing Josh
11/08/04 - Strange Stuff, LTD
11/07/04 - Untitled
11/07/04 - Matt finishes what he started
11/07/04 - Now Sarah's unhinged.
11/07/04 - Matt going crazy
11/07/04 - Republican Man leaves...for now.
11/07/04 - RM: Unlimited
11/07/04 - Fear Republican Man
11/07/04 - Republican Man...shades of Nixon
11/07/04 - Republican Man sounds off, part 2.
11/07/04 - Republican Man sounds off.
11/07/04 - More strange stuff...
11/07/04 - See what they've done to me?
11/07/04 - Lexi and Neal's second meeting
11/07/04 - Craig
11/07/04 - The fallout, part 2
11/07/04 - The fallout from Matt and Sarah.
11/07/04 - Talking with Neal
11/07/04 - Nichol's Chat Parties...Intro of Neal
11/07/04 - Nichol's chat parties, part4 4
11/07/04 - Nichol's chat parties
11/07/04 - Nichol's Chat parties, part.3
11/07/04 - Nichol's chat party, part 2.
11/07/04 - Strange times at Nichol's chat parties
11/07/04 - Talking to Tasha.
11/07/04 - Talking to Jeff
11/07/04 - Talking to Mike.
11/07/04 - A little ditty Twan thought up...
11/06/04 - The night Twan admitted it.
11/06/04 - Crashing to Earth.pt.2
11/06/04 - Crashing to earth.
11/06/04 - The plot thickens
11/06/04 - Snake gets another shot
11/06/04 - Laylani and I...discuss things
11/06/04 - Snake finally forgives me...or did he?
11/06/04 - Matt gets Whopped.
11/06/04 - Matt and Sarah's date, part 2
11/06/04 - Matt's recap of his date with Sarah, part.1
11/06/04 - Luke and Jeff, part 3
11/06/04 - Untitled
11/06/04 - Luke and Jeff, Part 1
11/06/04 - Snake and Lexi...part 2.
11/06/04 - Snake and Lexi...
11/06/04 - Intro-Nichol
11/06/04 - Jeff loses
11/06/04 - Matt can't be stopped
11/06/04 - XXX
11/06/04 - Your Friends Are Coming to kill you
11/06/04 - Nights in Hell
11/06/04 - Straight Friends can sometimes be the worst
11/06/04 - I AM MINUTE MAN!!!
11/06/04 - The intro of my other running buddy
11/06/04 - Ready to explode.
11/06/04 - Best friends know all
11/06/04 - How I'm glad I'm not Jesse
11/06/04 - Jesse, Jesse, Jesse
11/06/04 - Times when Jeff should probably stay sober
11/06/04 - Let's not, shall we?
11/06/04 - Matt's version of romance
11/06/04 - Americanized idiots
11/06/04 - Welcome to my life, aka Life by Matt Groening.
11/06/04 - Walking Through My Friendslist, part 3
11/06/04 - Walking through my friends list, part.2
11/06/04 - Walking through my friendslist, part 1
11/06/04 - Laylani
11/06/04 - Hanging out with Matt is usually like this...
11/06/04 - Matt
11/06/04 - The only two who scare me.
11/06/04 - Me, Pt.2
11/06/04 - Me.part 1
11/06/04 - Jesse
11/06/04 - Why your friends hate you
11/06/04 - Why TV is never what it seems.
11/06/04 - 1
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