SpideyChris  

Hello. I am Red Robot Model CH-37. I would have liked to be nicknamed Chet, but that seems unlikely for this war automaton.

Everyone calls me "Tobor." Who is Tobor? Is he another unit from my production line? And why does everyone wish for me to "cornhole" things?

I decided to have myself painted blue at an auto-body shop. But they recognized me. When I came in I was treated like a sodomist celebrity.

The mechanics pulled down their pants, giving each other high-fives as they exposed their rears to me. So many humans crying "Me first!"

I was surrounded by assholes.

My existence became a metaphor for internet forums.