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| Underaged drinking is a problem that affects more and more irresponsible bastards every day. | |
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| It was my first New Year's... The only memory I have of that night is my daddy stumbling in with a White Russian, slurring about how he shouldn't have to feed the brat. | |
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| In time, I was trading all my toys away for anything that'd get me closer to a buzz. I gave Suzy from the sandbox my best teddy for a case of her father's Pabst. | |
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| I was crowd-surfing at an Alien Ant Farm concert, naked save for my Pikachu diaper, when I realized... I needed to poopie. And that I'd hit rock bottom. | |
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| Remember, kids. You don't know trashed, not yet. So leave alchohol for responsible adults and promiscuous college girls. Or we'll punch you. | |
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