Hello ladies and gentlemen. I'm the mastermind behind these comics, Stripcreator Number9, and if you're very observant you'll note that I'm also a pumpkin.
Now, why the hell are you a pumpkin, you might be asking. Well the answer is simple, pumpkins are freakin' cool. My girl calls me pumpkin butt, and when she does I feel all warm and tingly inside.
Well enough about me, I'm really only here to say a few things about my strips before I begin. You see many times what is horribly horrible can actually be pretty funny. If put into the right context.
For example a squirrel getting hit at 100 miles per hour by an ambulance just after saying, opps I dropped my nuts. ... Wait, what? What the crap... That's not funny at all...
Ah and I'm running out of room! I better make this quick! What I'm trying to say is, swearing, rape, death, tentacle monsters, zombies, ect... Fun in comics, bad in real life. So behave suckas!
Greetings. Your final day is almost up. Might I come in?
Uhm, one minute please...
11:58pm - Little Asian Girl's Bedroom
Hey, I think there's another salesman at the door. Should we let him in?
What? But we already bought all those tiny elongated balloons and rubber vibrating toys from the other guy just this month... Well, I guess we shouldn't be rude... Show him in!
11:59pm - Little Asian Girl's Living Room
Uh, no, I don't carry vacuum cleaners. I think you're a little bit confused...
Oh, well right this way Sir. But if you're selling more glow in the dark balloons forget it, those things were all slimy and tasted awful when you blew them up!
Good evening little asian girls. As you seem to be moronically unaware, I am Death. My records indicate your time here has expired.
In fact both of you should have been picked up a while ago but do to some amazingly bizarre super~phenomenon mix up in the otherworld... I'm a little late.
Both of you were raped 24 times, 23 of which you seemed to enjoy, and murdered once by way of Tentacle Monster. Then raped once, murdered once, by way of Masked Lunatic.
Oh yes and Yumi you were raped 4 more times after that.
After a hard night & day of booze and coming to the realization that his life is worth less than a pile of old wet newspapers Bill sets his sights on his life long dream - Become a child rapist.
Heh heh heh... Perfect, there's my first sweet little innocent victim.. can't be a day over thirteen...
Ugh...
Hey little girlie.. Wanna go for a ride in my pickup? I've got lots of candy and cool video games...
Oooh whoop-a-dee fuckin' DOO! Candy, no shit?! Video games? Do you even own a PS2 you hill-billy jackass? I don't take rides in anything but sports cars, limos, or humvees.
Normally I'm pretty reasonable but for YOU it would be 500 bucks for a blowjob, 5000 for the night. Got the cash? Didn't think so. Now move aside pickle-dick, my cell phone's buzzing.
I need to get out more. This isn't as easy as it looked in those 80's after school specials...
Discouraged after his attempt to lure a young girl into his pickup with empty promises of candy and old sega video games failed, Bill moves onward to plan B...
So then.. if my suave trailer trash sweet talkin' don't work... I'll just use my physically superior body to overpower them..!
Huh..?
Arrrhh c'mere little girl, I'm gonna rape you, blaaarrgg!! *lunge*
Good holy crap Suzie, quick remember the self defense course, aim for the nutsack! aaiiiiiieeee!!
..the new law will effectively ban guns, nudity, swearing, sharp objects, fun, and any mental stimulation... from all video games. ... And in other news Rosie O'Donnell is still running for president!
All roight! Weere back! It's me Steve Irwin the Krawk Huntah! And guess wheer oi am! .. Hey! GOOD GOLLY, didju see thot!? A freokin' kangaroo just flew boye!!
Aw`whudja`look`a`thot! He's left a BIG steamin' poile of kangaroo DOO in moy path! ...! Oh moy look! He's rummagin' around in the bushes roight ova theer! Let's see if we can git a bit closah!
Crikey ! ! !
I bet you thought it'd be a hungry crocodile or a venomous snake didn't ja', mate?
Sally from 2nd grade free slutcam invite!!- Implant breasts into your cock naturally!!! OMG Katies cunt is HUGE!1! - vWHjsdhZPo Hey its yur gramma .. double fistedd live!!1~ SHAKIRA BARNYARD ANAL XXX!
Well looks like I win this round internet. I deleted all your vulgar illiterate messages! Quick to the delete cave!! Bwahaha... Actually to the bathroom, I gotta take a dump.
It's pretty late but I won't bother to disconnect or turn the volume down, after all it's not like YOU can actually DO anything without me here to tell you to, hahaha...
.............. *pop*
"ME AND MY NAUGHTY GIRL FRIENDS LOVE TO SUCK YOUR COCK! STUFF IT EVERY WHICH WAY IN ALL OUR HOLES! WATCH US PUT SNAKES IN OUR ASS! ALL THE FUN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT..."
Oh my God, what is all that filthy shouting coming from Robby's room?!
Mmm I dunno but it's got the ole' soldier standing at attention. Whaddaya say hun, care to bring Capt'n Winkie outta retirement?