All comics by Trace

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by Trace
9-26-05
BEHOLD... the future you created
can i look yet?
i hope he learns from this
wow...pushing one red button does all this?
*sighs*
his insides are outsides...cool

 

by Trace
9-26-05
?
it looks like some sort of displacement in the space-time continuum
??
or maybe it's the event horizon of a worm-hole to another galaxy
dude...have you been at my stash?

 

by Trace
9-26-05
son...you promised
this sucks
son....
i don't wanna go
we're going slaughtering and that's all there is to it
ohh..ok...but i'm taking my ice-cream

 

by Trace
9-26-05
right...we've been to the graveyard, to the house where the walls bleed, the abatoir, to see uncle Charlie in the big house and to the morgue and the little bastard is still bored
you suck dad
he wouldn't....would he?
i'm telling mum you took me to the opera
FUCK THIS....i'm killing the little shit
bollocks

 

by Trace
9-26-05
After the previous night's traumatic events, Butch decides to read "Troubled Teens and how to Tame them"
hmm...
arsehole
...seems a tad extreme.....but....
wanker
sorry son...it's what the book recommends
bollocks

 

by Trace
9-26-05
Butch decides it's about time Junior learnt the tricks of the trade
it's not hard....let's re-cap shall we? you HOLD the wooden handley bit like this.....
blah blah blah
and you POKE the pointy metally bit into people's ribs, stomachs, chests...basically any fleshy bit will do....use your imagination
tell me something i don't know
the child's a moron
the man's a moron

 

by Trace
9-26-05
Junior's mum has a go at teaching the little tyke
*blah blah*.. need to learn these things.. *blah*...*moan moan*.. in our day.. *moan*...*bitch*...*complain*
*nag nag*.. no respect...*bitch*..how do you expect...*complain*..no son of mine...
*waffling away with no idea i'm being ignored*... serial killing is an art form...
fucking hell...i thought dad was bad

 

by Trace
9-26-05
?
??
dude...have you been at my stash again?
whoooaaa.... no way....i can see through my hand, man

 

by Trace
9-26-05
?
the vortex she swirls
??
kibble nancy rimlicker blurgh
dude...that's it...i'm moving my stash

 

by Trace
9-27-05
dad...i've got something to tell you and you're not going to like it
i...i...i'm gay
thank fuck for that... for a minute there i thought he wanted to be a lawyer

 

by Trace
9-28-05
Encouraged by her first success, the newbie makes another attempt
Sounds of furious typing can be heard
gravitons....a reference to gay robots...bad poetry.... now with any luck they should accept me into their pack and in time....make me their queen!

 

by Trace
9-28-05
r..rrr...rats...RATS!!

 

by Trace
9-28-05
wow....we're the first living things to set foot on Uranus
*snigger*
just don't

 

I hate performance art
by Trace, 9-29-05

 

by Trace
9-29-05
erm...isn't a carp a freshwater fish?
isn't a dolphin a tourist whore?

 

by Trace
10-12-05
so, then i turned left instead of right at the old shipwreck and found myself here
oh, i see...
...but that still doesn't explain why you've got your hand up eric's butt

 

by Trace
10-12-05
i didn't know it was physically possible to do that to a fish
....and NO.....i really don't want to know how much lube you needed!

 

by Trace
10-19-05
good news, we've got the family's permission to harvest the patient's organs
but doctor, the patient is stable...he's not going to die
well...we can soon sort that out, can't we?

 

by Trace
10-25-05
so, why do you like being a goth?
is it the passion for life draped in the symbolism of death, the decadence, the grotesque and macabre?
nah...black's slimming innit?

 

by Trace
10-25-05
my wife's gonna go mad when she finds out you gave me crabs

 

by Trace
10-26-05
i've read the works of Shelley, Byron and Poe
i know the history of the original goths, the germanic tribe that swept through europe during the 4th century
i've studied the rise of the popularity of gothic architecture in the late 17th century
i've spent years....
holy crap....i've wasted my life

 

by Trace
10-27-05
vampires
blood
red
black
the emptyness that is my soul combined with the pain of my self-loathing and constant thoughts of suicide
umm......umm.....

 

by Trace
10-28-05
hey kid....
*sighs* before you say it.....yes i am a freak, yes the circus is in town, yes i borrowed my girlfriend's make-up and yes i know i look like a twat dressed like this
have i missed anything out?
no, that about covers it

 

by Trace
10-28-05
*knock knock*
goth-a-gram
goth-a-what??
*ahem*...o/' your neighbour hates you and wants you dead, he's bringing his axe to chop off your head, he'll be over tonight to make you scream and turn your house into a crime scene o/'
*gulp*

 

by Trace
11-04-05
Trace is not bltsandwich
any similarities are coincidental and outweighed by the many differences between us
Trace, for instance, eats pork products and doesn't hate everything in the world and usually gets along with other people
also Trace, has been known to have copious amounts of sex and even enjoy it
and Trace never refers to herself in the third person at all
well....apart from just then obviously

 

by Trace
11-05-05
oh, very funny you guys
you know damn well that i said the place needed to look more christmassy NOT "place christ near the tree"
you die for their sins and they don't even get you socks as a thankyou
now he's going to find out that i didn't get him anything

 

by Trace
11-05-05
wow, guy fawkes night.... i suppose my neighbours will be setting off fireworks outside the front of my house again
2 years ago a rocket fell over, shot across the green and landed on the bonnet of a car causing damage to the paintwork
last year one fell over and shot into a bush, setting it on fire
this year, one fell over and hit the brickwork of my house
looking on the bright side though...
the firemen that get called are cute

 

hey seymour, that plant's back again and it says it wants feeding
by Trace, 11-05-05

 

by Trace
11-06-05
what ya waiting for? kill me and end my misery. i want to die, this life holds nothing for me but anguish. death would be a release from the pain of existing in an uncaring world
it takes all the fun out of it when they do that

 

by Trace
11-08-05
according to my psychiatrist i have anger management issues and poor impulse control which leads to violent, uncontrollable outbursts. he also said i was emotionally unstable and a danger to society
....i wonder if it was because i took his pen and stabbed him with it?

 

excuse me
by Trace, 11-09-05

 

Bushwhacked!
by Trace, 11-12-05

 

does this make me look fat?
by Trace, 11-12-05

 

OH..MY..GOD....turn it off, turn it off!
by Trace, 11-13-05

 

Tyler proves his "point"...
see...i told you i could break your neck with one finger
by Trace, 11-18-05

 

i said, take me to your leader...not cedar!
by Trace, 11-18-05

 

Friday night is role-play night
ah, it says here that you're booked in for the full-frontal sexectomy
by Trace, 11-22-05

 

i'm used to men staring at my tits, but this is ridiculous
by Trace, 11-23-05

 

by Trace
11-23-05
ah....i love the wide open spaces
the peace, the quiet...not a living soul for miles, no disturbances or distractions. it's perfect....
.....for disposing of bodies

 

well, can i be YOUR bitch then?
by Trace, 11-23-05

 

by Trace
11-23-05
this is nibbles, my evil side-kick
don't let his fluffy cuteness deceive you
he can wipe out an indigenous species faster than the founding fathers

 

by Trace
11-24-05
good day my fine fellow, i wish to purchase your finest garment made of cheese
ok, how about something from our "cheddar" range
good grief man! do i look like a commoner?
should have said stilton...stupid, stupid

 

by Trace
11-25-05
may i take your order, sir?
umm...aren't the waitresses in this place supposed to be bunny GIRLS?
i'm still saving up for the sex-change

 

by Trace
12-05-05
there are a few drawbacks to having a zombie for a boyfriend, the smell for instance isn't nice and bits drop off him at times
but there are good things about it as well, like the neighbours don't keep knocking to borrow stuff since he accidently took a bite out of one of them
and the rigor mortis is definitely a bonus in the bedroom

 

by Trace
12-06-05
hello little boy, would you like to see some puppies?...no...err...i've lost my dog, have you seen him?...umm...would you like a sweetie?...goddamnit kid, you're not making this easy for me
and you wonder why mum divorced you

 

by Trace
12-11-05
something isn't right...i sense that something has awakened....a great evil is on the move...we have very little time and must prepare ourselves for the battle to come....
must we go through this every time my mother comes to stay?
yes

 

Bob soon realised that reading the instructions might be a good idea after all.
by Trace, 12-12-05

 

by Trace
3-09-06
i'm in so much debt. i've been getting loans to pay for other loans and now i have more money going out per month than i have coming in
i would have a nervous break-down
but i can't afford one

 

by Trace
3-12-06
you're pretty calm considering there's an undead army of brain-eating zombies outside the house
yeah, but that's because it's nowhere near as bad as the time your mother came to stay

 

by Trace
3-12-06
i'm getting really sick of your constant character assassination of my mother, you're always at it.
awww honey, that's not true
she doesn't have a character for me to assassinate

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