All comics by What_Did_Mama_Say

 

Brian Oxman is here with Michael Jackson news.
Brian, why do we think-since we don't know-know- why were you fired from the Jackson defense team?
Screw you, Larry. I didn't get fired. Hey, how 'bout forking over the 2 doz. Krispy Kremes you promised me if I left my apartment. I finished the fudge dipped oreos this morning. Well?
MacCauley Culkin is here with the latest Jackson news.
Hi Mac! Why sleep with Michael Jackson?
I don't know. Because all the other boys were doing it?
Rita Cosby is here with the big story.
Rita, why do we think-since we don't know-know why were you fired from Fox News Channel?
Screw you, Larry. Oh, by the way are you coming over later?

 

Something stinks around here,
You know I believe you're innocent, but you look as guilty as helf. Pardon me if that's offensive.
Yeah. Well thanks, you've been great. My urine test is clean! I feel like you're my best friend.
and it ain't the garlic in the smashed taters.
So? What did you watch on TV the night your exwife and her boyfriend AND YOUR SON were horrifically and savagely murdered?
Uh... uh... er.. Americal Idol? I like that Paula. She's hot. My urine is clean as a whistle-tell the world. I love my kids., too.
I don't think Idol was on during that particular time frame. How 'bout The Factor or Me on Fox News Channel?
uh... okay. I guess. I don't remember what I was watching. No offense. ...maybe...a little porn. Did I mention I gave a clean UA today?

 

Tonight! On Larry King Unthawed...
Famed attorney Mark Geragos is here to discuss his experience inside the legal wranglings of the Peterson and Jackson cases. How'd those two cases get away from you, Mark?
Well I...
What happened to you, Mark? What did you know-know or not know or almost know? Do you know now what you knew was a no-no? Or, was there any no-nos we should know about?
Uh, well.. I now know-know, if you will, a no-no is to sleep with a stalker like Aphrodite.
And now, your calls...
What? Take a tip from Paul McCartney, my friend. Peggy Lipton is available and you can go to bed right away. No dinner. No chit-chat. Nothing. Whole thing 15 min. tops. Done!
uh... oh that's my cell. Later.

 

From one day...
How do I look, Dad?
Son, ya'll better have a doctor look at you. You look bluer than usual.
to the next...
How do I look, Janet?
Bad. You should definitely go to the hospital again.
WAH! Daddy flushed himself down the toy-toy.
Quiet Blanket. Don't tell them where I am!

 

Ramone Bain
I am the spokesperson for Michael Jackson and no one else is. Michael is in his happy place. There is misinformation out here. Call me, only me, you have my number. If you have questions, ask me.
What happened to Brian Oxman?.... Wasn't he a spokesman, too?
Rev. Jesse Jackson
Makall is leanin' on His strunth, His, faith, His storeh, His pichazah of young boyahz. This nasty distruct attornehzah is uh uh Nazeezuh, uh uh like Rubeh Reej....they continyuh to terrorize Makal
So, is that on the record from the King of Pop?
Tom Messereau
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....... I am so mad I can't move right now.

 

Brian! Brian Oxman. Your locked in a shame spiral. Drop the twinkie and come out now. Nobody has seen you in 2 weeks. Jenny Craig is here. She wants to help you Brian. Can you hear me?
What are you doing Ramone. What are you doing. What are you doing.What are you doing.
Shutting my mouth, Mr. Mesereau.

 

The Ministry of Misinformation provides updates daily from Aruba.
woof! I brought you something I found in the pond!
AHHH! Get it away from me!
Larry King questions Lee Peterson about his period of adjustment.
How is it for you these days, Lee. Do you miss your boy?
Of course I do you big idiot waddaya think? Y'all are LIARS! LIARS! I'm gonna shoot ya'll! Ya'll are in the he-man man-haters club! Where is that lacquered blonde, Nancy Grace?
Mark Gazpacho prepares for trial in the Cameron Brown case.
Okay Cam. Let's talk about the lack of your child's footprints on the cliff leading up to the edge. How should we explain that?
I didn't carry her up there and throw her off! NO! I did not do that. I can't lift anything since I hurt my back. Ouchy. I have to stop now-oh my aching back!

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