It's the end. The time I just spent in the bathroom allowed me enough time to realize that my life is meaningless.
Insanity. Why did spend so long in the bathroom, then?
I drank too much Jack Daniels AppleJack and ate too many french fries. I was constipated, damn it! And I didn't even think to grab the new Reader's Digest. I had nothing to do but think!
If I were you, I'd just stop moping about and get on with life. Everyone poops, you know? And while you're at it, stop buying expensive party drinks. They're a rip-off, you know.
You know come to think of it, I did get to take my toenail polish off. And I've never read the back panel of my mouthwash before. Maybe the time wasn't wasted.
