All comics by agilemonkey

Profile

 

by agilemonkey
9-29-03
If i knew, i wouldnt be awake at this time on a skool night
Behold, i am the dog of balance.. fuck with me kid and you will be bounced upon!
What up Dawg? I am down with you homie, for I love you. Even if i am practically a corporate logo
But, i do not need you and your mass religion. I HAVE THE POWER HARNESSED BY THE STAR ON MY TEESHIRT!
Like everyone else this doggie will be converted and added to my army against the heathens, who have done nothing wrong but must still be destroyed from the face of the earth
Moral of the story? Dont fuck with a dogonaball
MY SUPERIOR BALANCE HAS ERADICATED JESUS FOREVER.. VIVA LA BALANCE

 

by agilemonkey
9-29-03
At the robot factory
i am yet to feel emotion little aisan girl.. but somewhere deep inside my circuits i feel...
go on....
Bill Gates Strikes Again
oh no, i am blinded by your strange eyebrows.. AISANGIRL I WILL AVENGE MY SIGHT
You dumb fuck, maybe if you took your hands off of your eyes you could see..I thought robots were programmed with at least common sence
Search Aisan Girls on google images search and all will become clear
You have once again proved yourself to be more intelligent than i, now i shall proceed in covering my mechanical goolies.. i know what you aisans are like
I feel you have spent far too much time on the internet my robot companion

 

by agilemonkey
9-30-03
The Jackson Five Years
Whoa, Its Micheal Jackson.. Can i have your autograph?
No motha fucka! Ill bust a cap in you as, easy as 1.2.3 nigga!
Micheal Jackson. 2003
Hey Micheal can I have your autograph?
No, I'm too busy molesting children and spanking my monkey to bother with you! Bubbles! Get in that schoolgirl uni now bitch! eeh heeh!
Micheal Jackson - 3003
Micheal Version 101 can I have your fucking autograph, im your savior for christ's sake
I am bad. You know it computes, Shutdown your whining while i torture a child into writing a song about world war 9

 

by agilemonkey
9-30-03
The show must start! But WHERE ARE THE REAL ACTORS
I am a goat.. Worship me
im not into that satanist bullshit, i just wanna give head til i die and someone skullfucks my eyesockets
Pre-Play Intermission
What is Agilemonkey playing at?
I dont know, but one thing is for sure..There will not be any aisan girls or jesus in this one
ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGONBALL OMEGA ZERO WIBBLE!
EVERYONE PUT THEIR HANDS IN THE AIR OR ILL BUST A CAP IN YO ASS WITH MY SEMI BITCH!
BUT I WILL SIVE IN THE NICK OF TIME.. IF I COULD ACTUALLY MOVE THESE DAMN PLASTIC LIMBS!

 

by agilemonkey
9-30-03
Hootwark Blaine's new gimmick: Agony Owl
Watch as i harness the power of my mind to solve any dilemma you face me with
Ring Ring
But that is not a question, Nor a valid statement I could help you with. I doubt you even used real words.
Ring Ring
You may be a talented scat singer but I do feel that you are wasting my time. Be off with you foul demon
Ring Ring

 

by agilemonkey
9-30-03
ALL RIGHT!!! GIVE IT UP FOR THE ALL BRITISH MOO MAR COW PEOPLE
Chop Chop from the workers of the slaughterhouse
I Carry a disease from consumption of my own kind
Can.. You.. Feel...
..That...I'm...Veal
Dont Cattle Prod Again
Swing Swing....

 

by agilemonkey
10-01-03
Poets are so fucking useless...Yet so damn infectous
Hey cat, whats happening? I like totally dig you threads. Theyre like a sea of shame covering two thirds of a world of sorrow
Oh god no it's another fucking poet!
I have a poem I would like to read you: Life, Darkness, Breeding, Hatred, Pasta? no, Pebbles. Rock on water sink like sand. Love!
Hey, he's kinda good, maybe I can use him to front my singing career by writing my lyrics
Hmm, Another happy ending?
WIGUUUUU!!!!!!!
Well, now i've seen everything

 

by agilemonkey
10-01-03
"Welcome to P.E. students of the bighirmigh school of ethnic diversity"
"Today we have very special news of a new P.E. teacher. Students Welcome... MAX CAVALERA OF SOULFLY AND SEPULTURA FAME!"
OooooooOooOoOoOOoOOoo
Argh its a dirty goffik!!!!! Give 'im a packi spot lads!
ARGH ILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN AND SHIT THEM OUT IN A NU METAL FUELLED VOODOO RITUAL OF SATAN... SEEK AND STRIKE!!! OOOAAARRRGHHHH!!!

 

by agilemonkey
10-01-03
woe is me.. Life is no longer worth living. Looks like im checking out for good, AVENGE MY DEATH
Hello, i am echo the dolphin.
Whoa!!! ECHO YOU ARE MY REASON FOR BEING! I am not worthy of your presence
Wow, That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, for that I am going to grant you presidency over the whole of the U.S.A.
"Sorry stickman but this was just a dream sequence, Brought to you by absinthe and glucose bong water."
PRESIDENT STICK MAN, SIGN OUR TITTIES!!!

 

by agilemonkey
10-01-03
Welcome to the Bill Cosby stand up show with your lovable host.. Bill Cosby!
Hey folks.. I'm Bill Cosby tonights comedian! I was going to drive here today but i walked because i wanted to help children cross the road while teaching them to read and be politically correct
YOU SUCK!!!!
Don't be mean. Lets all be peaceful, men and women. did you ever notice how White people putt exactly the same as black people because colour makes no diff
PRAISE THE LORD FOR SPONTANIOUS COMBUSTION
Leave me alone, and could someone please move me away from that fire, this nappy isn't flame retardent

 

by agilemonkey
10-02-03
Outside the panther HQ
Right Soldiers.. We have been employed by the government to eradicate a group plotting to overthrow the govenment, We have no proof of this, BUT they are free thinkers SO THIS MUST BE THE CASE!
YESSIR!!!!! DESROY THE PANTHERS SIR!
Inside the Panther HQ *I could not find anyone that looked remotely like a member of the panther so i used a squirel and an alien
Knowledge is power: ARM YOURSELF GENTLEMEN
Let us go and form a protest against govenment opression and the true freedom of speech and the press!
ARRGGHHH OPRESSOR
I am here on behalf of the state to kill you because you are a threat to our control over the united states! Therefore YOU SHALL DIE!!!!

 

by agilemonkey
10-03-03
DUE TO BUDGET CUTS FREDDY WILL BE PLAYED BY A SQUIRREL!
Hey, I'm jason, Nice to meet you Freddy
Ahh, I shall add you to my collection of mortal souls then molest some children while they sleep until I finally bite the dust, LIKE EVERY OTHER MOVIE I AM IN!!!!
Butbutbut.. thi... this is a horror flick, do something scary
Well.. uhhhm.. I could tell the special effects guy to create a creature from the swamp that ingests the people of london. Thats pretty scary..
To be continued

 

by agilemonkey
10-03-03
...Freddy VS Jason Part Two
Wow, What a climax!!! Freddy breats Jason
I wonder if the actors union would notice if i had a quick chomp on his nuts

 

by agilemonkey
10-05-03
A nerd. a cool looking nerd. but a nerd nonetheless
Hmmmm Moviepoopshoot.com time methinks!
Logging in as 'Neurocryptic Dongwad' Password... 'dungeonmaster'
I thought that film was a load of nonsensical garbage
I mean, Freddy was played by a squirrel FFS
A nerd. a cool looking nerd. but a nerd nonetheless
and it was set in a graveyard for the whole movie, I BLAME KEVIN SMITH
Ahh, if all else fails.. Blame Kevin Smith

 

by agilemonkey
10-07-03
Happyness Drains Agilemonkeys Creativity.. Damnation!
Tits

 

by agilemonkey
12-27-03
Sorry folks. I took a break from comic making but now im back but now I can play many propagandhi songs on guitar:D YAY!
Looks like money finally got outta bed and decided to make a comic.
Yead I wonder what that incestuous fuckpig has cookes up this time in that jar of anal love of his!
DIE YOU BASTARDS FOR 'HATING ON' ME MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I will need to get back into this methinx!
tits

 

by agilemonkey
12-27-03
Ok. this is supposed to be Mr Grim Reaper. Oh well:)
Hey son, Did I ever tell you about the time I was convicted of a hate crime?
Yeeeesss daaad
Oh... I't happened last week.. The guy upstairs had just told me a had to kill this guy..
Oh not a-fucking-gain!
do dodododo dodododod dododo flashback!!!

 

by agilemonkey
12-27-03
I knew it would be a bad day when my list of people to bump off didn't arrive.. I went to see Jesus
Hey boss.. I didn't get a list of all the people who need bumping off today, What gives?
Oh.. today you have just one client Death. His name is P-Diddy and he lives somewhere suitably gangster in America
After a split second of hunting.. I found the man
Umm.. hello do you happen to be P-diddy?
Yeah busta' what's happs fool?
I was only doing my job..
Ahh, I'm sorry to do this but... ^Touches P'^
Arrgghhh fool... I'm gunna bust a cap in yo'...

 

by agilemonkey
12-27-03
I had just killed a blackman, In the name of Jesus. For money.
ARRRGHHHHHHHHHH
Ok.. I better be off now
elle elle elle you are not going anywhere sonny jim. no you are not!
Oh dear.. I'm in slight shit
What is the problem officer?
You just killed a black man.. Which is a hate crime sonny jim.. You are going to be locked up for life on this one.

 

by agilemonkey
12-27-03
I can talk my way out of this
Oh.. It's all right, I was just doing my holy duty...
And what is this holy duty you speak of sonny jim?
I.. I was working.. for Jesus
Is this THE Jesus.. Jesus christ you were working for, I belive he has a few people worship him.. like a cult?
I kynda quit writing this at this point. because although I kinda like the story. I havent slept all night and I should consider getting up and having a bath and a caffeinated drink:) hehe.. TBC....
I wouldnt call it a...
You are in trouble sonny jim.. I am going to convict you of Murder one, Hatecrime, Hitwork, Gang related activity, Religious Killings under the call of your religious leader.. You are very screwed son

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