All comics by akumajinx

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by akumajinx
1-18-03
"Ridwan's girlfriend is not a dating service!"
"GPC is just as good as Oxford or any school in Georgia!"
"I called Rie a drunkard. Then she called Sayaka a drunkard. She can't talk about my girlfriend like that!"
"I didn't actually read your journal."
"Ok, so you beat me a couple of times at Smash Bros, I'm still a better player than you because you're too competetive. You want to win, I just want to have fun."
Hey, you. Shut up.

 

by akumajinx
1-20-03
I have returned, my children.
Are you Jesus H. Christ?
Uhm, yes. I have come to bring peace to the world.
The thing about that is, I was told that you're not allowed to come back. We have a war brewing, you see.
I see. Well, I guess I can wait another couple of years.
Could you wait about a hundred or so? We've got some big plans with the Bush twins.

 

by akumajinx
1-21-03
I always told myself that if I ever met Jesus, I'd ask him one question.
That being?
Did you ever participate in any of those "My dad could beat up your dad" arguments?
There was never any need, as far as I saw.
People were always "persuaded" in the end.
I hate you.

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
Hey, Eric. Where's Paul?
Vote for me.
...right. Well, I can't vote yet, but I will eventually.
That wasn't a request, Jimron.
Dear, Livejournal. Today, Eric kicked me in the crotch. I am now incapable of having children.
Hah, loser.

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
I just wanted to say that Imran's comics are horrible at best. I mean, Jesus? Played out. You, Imran, are a jackass. Ain't that right, Little D?
Word up, yo!
Furthermore....wait, what the hell is that?
INSULT-MY-COMICS, WILL-YOU? TAKE-THIS!
*rub-rub-rub*
You could cut the phallic symbolism in this comic with a knife.
PAC-MAN-WILL-FEEL-THE-PAIN-OF-ERASER-BURN!

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
Wow, an alien! Just like E.T! Let's go to a far away planet and eat alien food and make love to alien women! *growl*
This is really going to suck, isn't it?
It's actually more of a "probing" motion. Oh, wait! You meant that figuratively. Yes, yes it is.

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
Colin Powell tries to do damage control for the president.
Affirmative Action is a bad thing. Colleges have it wrong: they need to look at how WHITE someone is.
Damnit, Bush. Shut up, you idiot. Where's Cheney?
Need...brains to sustain life....
That's it, I'm out of here.
Looks like slim pickin's here. Mmm...MENSA meeting...
Dick, wait! DICK! Hehehe...dick. Erm, it's me, Bush! HAHAHA! BUSH!

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
Today, on the GRAMMAR SUPER FRIENDS (r)
I wish I was cooler.
GRAMMAR-SMASH!
OH MY GOD! SOMEONE GET ME SOME WATER! I NEEDS TO HAVE WATER! I BE BURNIN', YO!
GRAMMAR-SMASH!
(Ambulances are standing by.)
YO DIGGITY DIGGITY YO DIS BE ONE GHETTO ASS COMIC, NIZZICE! WEST SIIIIIDDDEE!
Does not compute. Stand by for elimination in 3...2..

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
You say you're twelve years old and looking to get closer to God?
Twelve and a half, sir.
Well, how close to God do you want to get? Up, deep in the clouds where he resides? Those soft, silky...clouds...
OH MY GOD! I'VE BURST IN TO FLAME! WHY?!
FLAMES! THE HORRIBLE FLAMES OF A WRATHFUL GOD!
Ha ha, works everytime.

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
Today on Ricki Lake: Your girlfriend has a penis. Operate or Embrace?
It's NBC's Must-See-TV Thursday with Friends! These people are more attractive than you, but you sympathize with their trite problems, anyway!
Investing in NBC was the greatest idea ever. Now people will be begging to go to Hell!
This episode of ER was brought to you by Satan; he owns most of the doctors in the world and they're all willing to sell off your organs at the drop of a hat.

 

by akumajinx
1-22-03
...willing to sell your organs at the drop of a hat!
Damnit, I knew something was up! I'll get my revenge, Clooney!
I swear, this is the liver of Jesus! It should go for a fortune!
Just who in the hell are you, anyway?
*poof!*
NO!! IT'S SUMMER...SUMMMMMEEERRRR!!!
Way to kick-ass, Jesus.

 

by akumajinx
1-23-03
Sir, what are you doing with that gas can and that pack of matches?
Me? Uh, nothing. I'm also...jewish. Yes. Moses and all that jazz.
Right. So, when was your barmitzvah?
Bar whatsa? Well, there was this one time I got really drunk at a bar and....uhm, I mean. Hey, look at that guy, he's talking about oil! HE MUST BE A TERRORIST!
Sorry, Habib. It was either you or me.

 

by akumajinx
1-23-03
So, Tony...how's prison?
I met one guy everyone calls "The Twins". He said he'd show me how to spell awkward, but the guard came in to the closet. He told me that my name is really spelled "B-I-T-C-H". Imagine that.
I'd honestly rather not.
So, did I really use magic spells to burn that city down? I didn't even know I had magic spells!
You know, I'll have to check on that. Until then, I've going out to...burn...things...I mean, turn things. Yes, that will do.
Maybe I can use my magic spells to break out? I better ask my lawyer.

 

by akumajinx
1-23-03
I keep telling you, you DON'T HAVE MAGIC POWERS!
Then why am I in here, Rachel? Of course I have magic powers, silly, otherwise I couldn't have burned down that city!
I suppose you're right, Tony. You couldn't have burned down that town without magic powers. Point B: YOU DON'T HAVE MAGIC POWERS! Understand?
No. Stands to reason that if I really didn't have magic powers, you wouldn't be so angry with me.
Talking to you makes my brain hurt.
That's what all the guys around here say.

 

by akumajinx
1-23-03
Alright, everyone's burned. Now time to write the Communist Manifesto.
What the hell? You didn't write the Communist Manifesto, Karl Marx did!
I deny that Karl Marx ever existed. I maintain that I went back in time and posed as Karl Marx when writing the Communist Manifesto.
I'll show you! He has a tomb in Russia and everything!
That "tomb", which I don't confirm ever existed, has "hypothetically" been set on fire recently.
Jimran, you so crazy.

 

by akumajinx
1-23-03
Wow, that movie was great.
Now, let's wait for the rerun of this bad movie...what?
We apologize for this horrible comic.
Tune in later for a much better one. Until then, get drunk until this is funny.

 

by akumajinx
1-23-03
I wonder if I should tell her about the ink veins...

 

by akumajinx
1-23-03
Hey, person-I-know! What's up?
Eric! Remember that time that I got really drunk and stuff?
Actually, no.
And then we got really smashed and started driving LIKE ALL WOOHOO! HAHAHA!
And then we said HA HA SUCKS TO YOU OLD LADY!
I'm actually looking forward to talking to Tracy now.

 

by akumajinx
1-24-03
halo tray-see. what uP?
helo tony how tony r u doing
This made sense to Kevin, Eric, and Rachel. Not me, however.
We apologize. Actually, we don't. Screw you, internet.

 

by akumajinx
1-24-03

 

by akumajinx
1-27-03
Being that I was slapped by Tracy earlier today, I figure I should issue a formal apology. To help me, here is Fred Durst.
BITCH ASS HO MUTHA FUCKA~!
So, yes, I apologize. I cite "Fallwell v. Flint" as my defense for slander. You may cite "wrath of angry person" as your right to hit me. Either way.
ROCKIN' THE HELL OUTTA THIS JOINT FROM MY PARENTS' BASEMENT, BE-ATCH!
However, I don't apologize for Tony. Jesus Christ, Tony. You have a speller: use it!
That be some aquard ass shit, yo!

 

by akumajinx
6-07-03
Ok, this is going to get confusing, I'm sure.
People, this is Megan 3.0. Yes, I know this is Tracy's old picture, but bare with me here.
We use her to make sexual innuendo about gunblades and magnum shotguns.
I also enjoy theatre and singing.
...wait, what? Gunblades?
And you'd think my first comic back would be slightly funnier and more intricate than simply making fun of someone else, but no. I'm not that creative.

 

by akumajinx
1-14-04
After a long hiatus, time to introduce some new characters.
I'm going to be Megan Howard, because I'm the first blonde Imran found in the comics.
This will be Eric Olson's avatar, since long-haired guys are equally difficult to find. Go, sacrilege!
This is already established as Sally. Imran had to search for it, though, so Sally was this close to being the default asian girl.
I will occasionally fill in for Paul. Does this trenchcoat hide something sinister? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!
Wouldn't I work better as Eric?
Ideally, if you weren't about to burn to death.

 

by akumajinx
1-14-04
Fellowship of the Ring
So, Frodo, take this ring to...hey, are you listening to me!?
Yes, I would like a sandwich, thank you.
The Two Towers
I fell off a cliff! It was amazing! Don't you remember?
I specifically remember not caring.
Return of the King
Mister Frodo! Please stop eating me!
Take one for the team, Sam.

 

by akumajinx
1-14-04
Ok, so the original idea behind this was to make a funny comic for Tracy so she stops being emo. However, that's hard to do. Comedy simply doesn't pour out of your ears, you know.
So, we simply decided to put Tracy in front of cheery backgrounds along with captions explaining my subtly cheery backgrounds. Enjoy.
The funny thing about ships is how they buffet back and forth. It kind of symbolizes life, doesn't it?
I can tell I've already made my descision, I already know, this is what my deal is. I just have to get over the change, becuase there's still some of that overachiever stressd out me in my head that i
I defy you to look at space and not laugh. Go ahead, try it. It's so cheery it's almost maddening.
music makes the world so much more beautiful. especially music I care about so much & makes me this much closer to feeling like I have some idea of what I am...

 

by akumajinx
1-15-04
Man, now everyone wants to be in this comic. Since we're running high on characters and low on art, I've had to become...shall we say, inventive.
For reasons no one feels like explaining, this squirrel will now be Amanda.
I'm going to be Megan Graham. My giant eyes can see through time. Not that it's important, I just thought you should know.
I'm entertainment personality Mandy Moore from the year 2070.
I'm a goddamn chess board. Play me, motherfuckers.

 

by akumajinx
1-15-04
Imran, I smell like burning.
What you call "burning," I call "nectar of the Gods."
To each his own.
So, good luck with that burning thing.
You mean "good luck with that nectar of the Gods?"
In about two minutes, semantics isn't going to matter all that much.

 

by akumajinx
4-21-04
I decided on a whim to do some more character introductions. Helping me will be Squirrel-Amanda.
YAY!
I'm going to be Becky. Yes, everything about this picture is a horrible, horrible joke.
I'm an evil man.
I think I want to be Amanda, damnit.
You're Rachel. Deal with it. Amanda is best represented by a squirrel.

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