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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of TeatimeÂ®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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Just Joan

by andydougan
5-27-04

Joan Collins announces her support of the UK Independence Party in the European Elections


	I am perfectly entitled to endorse UKIP. I am from this country, after all.


	Right.


	I think this party will make things better in England, or Britain, or the UK, or whatever you call it these days. (ACTUAL QUOTE!)


	So what are UKIP's policies?


	Er, you'd have to ask Kilroy about that... (several more actual quotes...)

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