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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of TeatimeÂ®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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Never shall be slaves

by andydougan
10-23-04

Karl Rove and George W talk campaign strategy


	We could do with another half-percentage point. How about if we send a few British soldiers to die in Baghdad?


	'Kay, I'll phone up whatsisname and arrange it.

Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon breaks the news


	...so that's what you get for joining the army! But thanks, though, lads! Hope it isn't too protracted!


	I like this job. People call me "minister" when I go to the office.


	If we had guns that actually fired, I'd shoot this cunt.

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andydougan
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