baconeater  

Hey God, is there anything about you that most people don't know?

Lets see. I haven't taken a bath or shower in close to 15 billion years

Oh, that explains the smell.

What smell?, are you trying to tell me I have an odor problem?

Um yeah!, check out those gagging pigeons rolling around behind you.

I just thought they were in awe of me. OK, maybe I'll try some Right Guard.