badkarmadetroit  

what's wrong?

my girlfriend just left me for the spin cyle on our washing machine.

boop !

i don't blame her. I've even licked its lint trap once or twice when i was drunk on laundry detergent..... Don't look at me like that!

beep !

It was practially begging me for it. 'Accidentally' leaving its hatch half-open, shakin' its load across the room. You would've done the same thing, if you had a tongue.