banger  

For serious, what's the deal with the douche?

No idea.

Do you squirt it in your love spot and then stand over a bowl while it seeps out of you? Or do you let your uterus absorb the chemicals?

That's an interesting theory.

Then when you open up your legs, a pleasant fragrance floats out and you have a tropical party in your pants (literally)?

I wouldn't look into it too much.