Dude, my friend has hooked up with this Jesus freak and it's seriously cramping his style. Is there any way to save my friend from Jesus?
You are not trying to save your friend from Jesus.
No, man, it's awful. She won't let him smoke weed, she preaches at him, and she reads her Bible out loud whenever I come over. I've got to save my friend from Jesus.
You are not trying to save your friend from Jesus. You are trying to save your friend from pussy.
I am?
Yes, and it sounds like the most righteous God pussy ever if he puts up with it like that. Stop being jealous of your friend's pussy.