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| So I was in the midst of reading the complete works of Chaucer when in my haste I appeared out of nowhere and commenced to engage in fisticuffs with myself. | |
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| I was quite disturbed, as any man worth his salt, and other condiments, would be, had he the chance to become engaged in fisticuffs with himself. | |
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| I wondered, in the midst of the fisticuffs I was engaged in with myself, why and how did I become engaged in fisticuffs with myself? | |
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| I managed to beat back my assailant, who was engaged in fisticuffs with me, and pushed him bodily into my blazing fireplace, wherein he ignited on contact and burnt to cinders in mere seconds. | |
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| I then realized that I'd not engaged in fisticuffs with myself at all, but I'd gotten pants-pissing, drawers-soiling drunk and fallen face-first into my fireplace. Plus, my face was on fire. | |
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| (my skateboard is made of marmalade) | |
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