Son, I know I reacted harshly to what happened last night, but I want you to know that I still love you very much and I really appreciate what you did for me.
Dad, you've humiliated me more than you could ever imagine. Tonight once you fall asleep, I'm going to sneak into your room, steal your belt and hang myself with it.
Well, maybe I just won't go to sleep then. How bout them apples?
