Hey, I'm sorry I didn't return your call last night. I've been more than a little constipated and it's really making things hard on my home life.
How so?
Well, the misses likes cover herself in my feces while we make love. I just got a fresh supply of cialis and I've been hard as a rock, but she can't fuck without the shit.
Why doesn't she just cover herself in her own shit?
She says that's gross.
Well... You could borrow my shit. She'll never know the difference. We have a pretty similar diet.
says: