The mail came and it included this letter from an anonymous tipster. It was addressed to you, but you know how much I love reading your mail. The letter says, "YO boyfriend ain't no gay."
OH MY! That is horrible grammar.
I'm sorry you had to find out about my heterosexuality this way.
I'm afraid an apology just isn't enough mister. You've been bad and you're going to have to get spanked.
says: