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| Welcome to the Miss America Pageant. I'll be your host: Death. | |
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| Just between you and me folks, the organizers let me host, because instead of pay, I get to claim the souls of any of the anorexic bitches that die during the contest. | |
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| This year, instead of a crown, the prize will be...bacon! These girls could use some. Try not to throw it up ladies. | |
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