All comics by eshman

 

Comics Conformity by eshman 1-29-01
I can't shake the feeling.. What feeling?	That we're exactly the same as everyone else. hmm...	I think you've missed my point. What? This isn't better?

 

Melodarama over cruddy strips by eshman 1-30-01
The complaints continue... Jeez, this sparse, rigid environment is such a pain to work with! What do you mean? It's not too bad...	Look at it! The bland backgrounds, the limited number of characters, the generic poses.. I don't know what you're whining about. I like being in an amateur comic strip.	Listen, when you don't have to be three different characters over the course of one day's comic strip, try convincing me. Until then, my complaint has been lodged. Have you sought help? I think you may be having some personal issues here. There's a lot of unresolved anger.....

 

Unrest abounds by eshman 1-30-01
How's this? Nope.	What about this one? eccchhh..	Listen, there's only so much we can do... Calvin and Hobbes this aint, that's for sure. Plus the little girl is starting to freak me out.. What's the likelihood that a comic strip set in the middle of a busy street will last??

 

A new development - nope, back to square one by eshman 2-21-01
You're going to EAT ME?!? That's right, kid. You're the biggest, juiciest turkey I've ever seen.	B-b-but I'm not a turkey, I'm a chicken. Besides..I-I-I thought I was your friend...(snif). I gotta sit down... Listen, such is the circle of life. Now where did I leave my frying pan?	Oh gawd, you again? what now? The comic strip was just starting to shape up... I'm outta here. Give my agent a call when this strip has a point. It's, It's...It's still not right somehow. I mean a dramatic comic strip is all well and good, but a talking chicken?..That sorta roons it.

 

I know I don't belong....here in Heaven. by eshman 2-21-01
Whaa.. where am I?	You're in Heaven... Oh my gawd....how did I die?	The question should be "Why did you die." See, we needed some kind of plotline. So we killed our main character (you) , and we'll see where it goes from there. Wow...killing me off as a plot device. That's low. I wonder what other corny ideas the sick author of this comic strip has in mind... My son! My long lost son! After I died I never thought I'd see you again, but now we're reunited, here in Heaven!...

 

These things in heaven and earth by eshman 3-07-01
Hmm..dead, huh? This sure is different than how I imagined heaven..All these creepy dead people running around.. Hey there, sunny jim!	Well, at least they're friendly. Maybe this isn't such a bad premise for the comic strip... Come on slowpoke! We're off to the sack races!	No no no, this won't work. Let's make you alive again, but we'll try a catch phrase. Try saying, "All your base are belong to us..." Fer cryin' out loud!! I'm calling my agent!!

 

Catchy phrases do not a comic strip make by eshman 3-07-01
OK, so about your new catch phrase.. Go away. I'm waiting for a call back from my agent.	Listen, be reasonable... No dice. I wanted to be the star of a comic strip, but this is too much. The only thing I am listening to is that phone.	The phone has its own catch phrase, you know... There's a clause in my contract that gets me out of this, I just know it... "Whatchoo talkin' bout, Operator?!"... Believe me, your catch-prhrase is a lot better. You have nothing to complain about. Try it: "All your base are belong to us." See how it rolls off the tongue?

 

Cast change by eshman 3-07-01
At the comic strip production plant... Yeah, hey, thanks for recognizing me. Hey, I recognize you. Aren't you the guy who played the dead father of the main character for like one day?	Of course, I was laid off after that appearance...Did you like that storyline idea? I thought it was kind of weak.. Nah, it was great. Listen, did your main character ever work out his beef with the strip having no direction?	I regret to inform you that our main character has walked off the set in a huff.. but I think you two will do fine without him. Ooh! Ooh! My contract scores me first dibs on being the main character! Who said that?

 

Upper management's slimy hand by eshman 3-07-01
Wow, we get to be the main stars of this strip . . . .So what are we going to be doing in this strip? I dunno, management kind of told us to do whatever we liked.	wow, are they going to give us total freedom with this thing? Well, they'll butt in once in a while.	Dave, we're going to change your look for this strip...a little less "clean-cut" Hey, a little warning next time? hmmm, my head could use a re-shave... dang, this "main character" stuff is high-maintenance!

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