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| Every year on Christmas, history buffs reenact George Washington's famous crossing of the Delaware River. | |
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| The reenactors row across the river from Pennsylvania to New Jersey, march to Trenton, and kill Hessian mercenaries. | |
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| Now, you might think that this sounds illegal or immoral, but don't worry; the Hessians aren't real Hessians. | |
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| They're actually just New Jerseyans. | |
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