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  evil_d  
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by evil_d
12-03-14
Mr. Darcy, your lack of interest in conversation or dancing makes you the rudest person I've ever met! I hate you!
I hate you too, Miss Bennet. No, wait, I changed my mind. I like you because, in your convoluted circumlocution, you occasionally express your actual opinion.
Terrible news, Miss Elizabeth/Eliza/Lizzy! Your sister Lydia has disappeared with a young man! I'm not worried that she's hurt but I am worried that they might be having premarital sex!
That's awful, Mr. Dad! Let's hope we can pay him enough money to marry her, since certainly nobody would do it for any other reason.
Good news, Mr. Dad! Mr. Darcy has solved Lydia's problems by throwing money at them, and now he's going to solve my problems by marrying me!
Well, that sounds right and proper all around. Does he have any brothers? Because I still have some unmarried daughters....
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