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| This is SCN News. I'm Jake Jemima. Michael Jackson was find not guilty on all counts today. | |
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| Among other things, Jackson was accused of molesting young boys and giving them wine to drink, which he called "Jesus Juice." We asked the man on the street for reaction. | |
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| Father McFeely, what do you think of Michael Jackson being acquitted? | |
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| In other news, hundreds off priests stormed the headquarters of Sony records today, seeking record contracts and excessive plastic surgery. | |
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| Someone's getting fucked up the ass Lord, Kumbayah. | |
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