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| Hello? IBM Tech Support? Ever since I loaded Windows XP on my Aptiva, something has been sucking up all my memory. | |
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| Yes, we’ve been hearing a lot of that lately. To fix this problem, you’ll need to load a patch that we call “Linux.†We’ll ship it right out to you. Have a great day! | |
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| Hello? Mars Candy Bar Tech Support? I’m following your recipe for Fried Mars Bars, but I can’t suck off the crispy coating like I used to back home in Connecticut. | |
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| I see that you’re calling from Colorado. If you’re living 10,000 feet above sea level, we recommend adding two pounds of lard to the hot oil. Thank you for calling! | |
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| Hello? Marilyn Manson Tech Support? No matter how loud I play your new album, it still sucks. | |
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| Yeah, well, fuck you, bitch. | |
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