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Fatherly Wisdom
by
gabe_billings
3-18-07
All right kiddo, let's head out. Don't forget your helmet.
Are you going to wear one too, Dad?
Don't be silly, son. Helmets are for fags. And kids. Say, while I'm doling out fatherly advice, you should know that marriage is sacred.
So why were you boning your secretary and Mrs. Jones from down the street?
Well those only lasted a few months, and Daddy had his fingers crossed while he was gettin' busy, so technically those didn't count.
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gabe_billings's Comics
12/29/17 - Back to the Grindstone
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08/22/10 - CCXIV - 5
08/22/10 - CCXIV - 4
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07/21/10 - The First Rule
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05/23/10 - XX
05/23/10 - XIX
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05/23/10 - XVI
05/23/10 - XV
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05/23/10 - XII
05/23/10 - XI
05/23/10 - X
05/23/10 - IX
05/23/10 - VIII
05/23/10 - VII
05/23/10 - VI
05/23/10 - V
05/23/10 - IV
05/23/10 - III
05/23/10 - II
05/23/10 - I
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04/26/10 - a comic
04/28/09 - Beans, Beans, the Musical
04/21/09 - Return to Sender
07/31/08 - Adventures in Babysitting
03/09/08 - Incorrect
03/09/08 - Part Two
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02/05/08 - Star Trek, Ho!
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05/26/07 - Random Acts of Kindness
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05/24/07 - You Wouldn't Hit a Guy With Glasses
05/23/07 - Sounds Good to Me
05/22/07 - CC 355: They're Always After Me Lucky Charms
05/20/07 - Culinary Skillz
05/20/07 - ROADTRIP!
05/20/07 - Riddle Me This
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05/09/07 - BTC 62: Office Mystery
04/26/07 - CC 353: At the Vet's
04/26/07 - CC 353: At the Vet's
04/25/07 - Ebony and Ivory
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04/10/07 - Color Me Funny
04/08/07 - Meep Meep
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04/07/07 - Insert Funny Title Here
04/07/07 - .
04/07/07 - .
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03/28/07 - CC 351: Makin' Copies
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03/26/07 - Random Fathead
03/26/07 - Random Fathead
03/26/07 - Random Fathead
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03/21/07 - CC 350: Narcissism
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03/17/07 - Have the Sommelier Shot
03/17/07 - There are No Figs in Figging
03/16/07 - Because I Said So
03/15/07 - Wisdom From My Son
03/15/07 - Happy Birthday
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03/10/07 - Questions, Questions
03/10/07 - CC 349: Just Because
03/10/07 - CC 349: Nursery Rhymes?
03/08/07 - Tobor Will Put His Balls in Your Pocket
03/06/07 - CC 348 - Babysitting; Billings Style
03/06/07 - FTC 107 - The Sound of a Guy with the Clap Getting a Handjob
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05/18/04 - Au Pair to the Rescue
05/18/04 - Back From the Dead
05/20/03 - Obi Returns - II
05/20/03 - Obi Returns - I
03/08/03 - BEANPOLE 8-3
03/08/03 - BEANPOLE 8-2
03/08/03 - BEANPOLE 8-1
02/17/03 - Throwin' the Book
01/20/03 - Johannes to the Rescue!
12/12/02 - The IRC Comic Thingee
12/09/02 - Honey, I Shrunk TheBlairZip!
11/25/02 - Eels!
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11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 21
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 20
11/05/02 - 100,000 Cmoics!
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 19
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 18
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 17
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 16
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 15
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 14
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 13
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 12
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 11
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 10
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11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 8
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 7
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11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 5
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11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 2
11/05/02 - The Story of Stripcreator - Part 1
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11/03/02 - They're New
10/03/02 - Testing, Testing, One Two Three...
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09/17/02 - Cowboy Gamers
09/15/02 - They Live!
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09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 25
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 24
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 23
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 22
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 21
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 20
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 19
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 18
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 17
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 16
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 15
09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 14
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09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 10
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09/08/02 - CC 141 - Gabe Part 5
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12/28/01 - Test Deux
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12/28/01 - Testing... 1, 2, 3.
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12/24/01 - The Cat Came Back
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12/05/01 - Cowboy Physics; Take Five
12/05/01 - Cowboy Physics; Take Four
12/05/01 - Cowboy Physics; Take Three
12/05/01 - Cowboy Physics; Take Two
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10/02/01 - Malphabetize
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09/30/01 - Cell Block 6
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09/23/01 - T-Minus 20 Minutes
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09/22/01 - The Game Is Afoot!
09/22/01 - Where Did That Come From?
09/22/01 - 35000!
09/22/01 - Clash of the Titans
09/22/01 - Wirthling the Magnificent
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09/20/01 - Work
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09/20/01 - I-ZAK
09/20/01 - What are Those Rules Again?
09/19/01 - Legend of Stunken Master
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09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part VIII
09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part VII
09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part VI
09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part V
09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part IV
09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part III
09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part II
09/19/01 - The Tobor Chronicles - Part I
09/19/01 - Sterotypical Dumb Kids part 5
09/19/01 - Sterotypical Dumb Kids part 4
09/18/01 - Serial Comic ]I[ - She Can't Take Much More of This Captain!
09/17/01 - Mashed Potatoes in My Shorts
09/17/01 - One Up
09/17/01 - Wirthling's Humble Abode
09/17/01 - CC 63 - I Can't Read
09/17/01 - Where the $%#@?
09/17/01 - Dr. K Sings the Blues
09/17/01 - Dexx's Revenge
09/17/01 - CC 63 - Ode to the Big Lebowski
09/16/01 - Untitled
09/16/01 - Untitled
09/16/01 - Exorcise
09/16/01 - Untitled
09/12/01 - Tennis, Anyone?
09/09/01 - CC 61 - Obi-Doo, Where Are You?
09/08/01 - You're That Shark!
09/08/01 - Form of, a Shitty Comic!
09/07/01 - Idea Flood
09/06/01 - Ender's Game
09/05/01 - Donkey Dominance. Part 5. Ed 2.
08/29/01 - CC 58 - Science Gone Wrong
08/28/01 - Costumes
08/27/01 - CC 57 - Eeeeeee! Mail
08/21/01 - CC 55 - Cowboy Broadway
08/21/01 - Deisel Becomes a Man
08/20/01 - The Invisible Comic "Death"
08/20/01 - Life's a Beach
08/18/01 - The New Me
08/16/01 - Avocado's Number
08/16/01 - Wake
08/09/01 - Comic Cup III
08/07/01 - CC 51 - God, Revisited.
08/07/01 - CC 51 - Today, Japan. Tomorrow, the World!
08/06/01 - Wirdini the Great
08/03/01 - We're In the Army Now
08/02/01 - WaterWorld
08/01/01 - Trading Places
08/01/01 - I Am a Badass
07/30/01 - CC 49 - The Square of Comic Contest 7
07/27/01 - Zork Zork Zork
07/23/01 - Knock Knock #3
07/23/01 - Brad Goes to Hell
07/23/01 - Whoops
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07/18/01 - 1337
07/18/01 - CC 45 - XTreme Crabby
07/18/01 - Meanwhile, at Lowpass Anonymous
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07/11/01 - This Has Nothing to Do With CC 43
07/10/01 - We Don't Need No Stinkin' Rules
07/10/01 - The Lowpass Equivalent of a Mercy Fuck
07/07/01 - On the Job
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07/01/01 - CC 42 - -
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06/17/01 - HAL Revisited
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06/16/01 - Quarks, Noble Gasses and Cheese
06/16/01 - A Demonic Link
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06/16/01 - ]|[ Minimalist
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06/15/01 - ]I[^3
06/15/01 - CC37 - Hide and Go Seek
06/15/01 - ]I[- We Don't Need No Stinkin' Rules
06/15/01 - ]I[ - III
06/15/01 - Party On, Gabe
06/14/01 - ]-I-[
06/14/01 - My Head Hurts
06/14/01 - If It's Scottish It's Crap!
06/14/01 - ]I[
06/14/01 - 80's Rulez
06/14/01 - Well? Do They?
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06/10/01 - Hopelessly Confused
06/09/01 - Rules? ][ : 11-15, yes.
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06/06/01 - Ode to Statler And Waldorf
06/06/01 - Ka-CHING!
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06/06/01 - Another Badass Comic From Gabe
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06/06/01 - Bocce Mania
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06/05/01 - Another Brilliant Contest from Gabe's Psyche
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06/04/01 - She Lives
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06/02/01 - CC33.2.2 - Get Stuffed.
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06/02/01 - CC33.1 - Pancakes, Waffles and Hookers, Oh My!
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06/01/01 - The Hit
05/30/01 - Undercover
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05/28/01 - CC32: We're All Going to Hell
05/23/01 - CC 31 - Live From Las Vegas!
05/17/01 - CC30 - I Don't Give a Shit What (Love is...)
05/16/01 - Woe is Me
05/13/01 - CC 29 - Granpda Put the Cat in the Toaster Again
05/10/01 - I Can't Follow The Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuules
05/07/01 - Where All the Good Ideas Come From
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04/25/01 - CC26 - Wirthling's Dicklessness is Not This Comic's Topic
04/25/01 - CC 26 - Wirthling's Dicklessness is Not This Comic's Topic
04/24/01 - How Do You Spell That?
04/24/01 - Tabor Goes to the Movies
04/23/01 - What If?
04/23/01 - Comic Contest 5^2 - Fuck You and the Horse You Rode In On
04/17/01 - CC 23
04/12/01 - Comic Contest 22: wirthling sucks... literally
04/11/01 - Wisdom Abounds
04/10/01 - Apathy, Inc.
04/10/01 - There Is Hope
04/08/01 - The Rock
04/07/01 - Obi & Gabe Go Clubbing
04/06/01 - Wirthling Felches Apes
04/06/01 - I Hate Wirthling More Than Mondays
04/06/01 - Withling Still Sucks
04/06/01 - And Now for Something Completely Different
04/06/01 - Unfair
04/06/01 - A Monkey in the Wrench
04/06/01 - Time For a Head Thumpin'
04/06/01 - I'm Still Knowing What You Are Doing Last Summer
04/05/01 - Duel
04/05/01 - Nuthin'
04/05/01 - Comics Contest XIX: This Title Intentionally Left Blank
04/04/01 - Haha
04/04/01 - DeeJay Joins the Ranks
04/03/01 - The Truth Behind the Pledges
04/03/01 - Complete and Utter Failure
04/03/01 - You're Hired
04/03/01 - Tugging at the Heartstrings
04/02/01 - Comics Contest XVIII: ToothG Productions, Ltd.
04/01/01 - What Else Do We Have Under the Sink?
03/31/01 - Serial Comic: Mary Phone Home
03/31/01 - Rocky Mountain High
03/31/01 - Comic Contest XVII: Don't Forget the Donkey
03/29/01 - Essence of my Ass
03/26/01 - Comic Contest XVI: What Would You Do With 6 Billion Dollars?
03/24/01 - Comic contest XV: Clowning Around
03/23/01 - Ask and Ye Shall Receive
03/22/01 - Is the Dis Wirthling Contest Over Yet?
03/22/01 - The Truth Comes Out
03/22/01 - Down in Flames
03/22/01 - Inconceivable!
03/21/01 - Comic Contest XIV: Terror in the OR
03/20/01 - I Hate That Damned Shepherd
03/19/01 - Comic Contest XIII: Jon the Stockboy
03/17/01 - 10K Letdown
03/17/01 - Birthday Boy
03/17/01 - Clango Tells All
03/17/01 - Lowpass Union
03/17/01 - The Devil Went Down to Central Park
03/17/01 - Birthday for Clango
03/17/01 - PC at the Improv
03/17/01 - Mom?
03/17/01 - MC Clango
03/17/01 - Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
03/17/01 - Wirthling Sucks, Volume MCXXIV
03/15/01 - Desc's Fantabulous Journey
03/11/01 - Comic Contest XII: The Rain in Spain
03/09/01 - Reality TV
03/09/01 - DexX Returns
03/08/01 - Surf's Up, Big Kahuna
03/08/01 - Where the Hell Is Everyone?
03/07/01 - Tomfoolery in the Locker Room
03/06/01 - Comic Context XI: Home Shopping Network; 1:41AM
03/06/01 - Creator Interview #1: Gabe Billings Part 2
03/05/01 - The Relationship Test: Question #8
03/04/01 - Pimp Extraordinaire Tooth-G On Suffragists
03/04/01 - The Relationship Test: Question #5
03/04/01 - The Relationship Test: Question #5
03/04/01 - The Relationship Test: Question #4
03/04/01 - Bush Makes a Score
03/04/01 - To the Moon, Alice
03/04/01 - Contact
03/03/01 - Just a Drive in the Park
03/03/01 - Stood Up
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03/02/01 - The Life of a Clown
03/02/01 - This Machine Needs Tuning
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03/02/01 - Decisions, Decisions
03/02/01 - Flat Cat
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03/02/01 - I Just Want to be Friends
03/02/01 - W
03/02/01 - Critic
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02/25/01 - Lowpass Haiku IV
02/25/01 - Dissention in the Ranks, Part 3
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02/25/01 - Dissention in the Ranks
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02/24/01 - It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To
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02/23/01 - Happy Birthday
02/23/01 - Where Do the Ideas Come From?
02/23/01 - Comic Contest #7 - What a Pain in the Ass
02/23/01 - Movie Mischief
02/23/01 - Twisted
02/23/01 - Interview
02/22/01 - Happy Birthday Big Evil Dan
02/22/01 - Wirthling, Master of His Domain
02/22/01 - Roving Hands
02/22/01 - Physicist Cowboys - A Tribute to Max
02/21/01 - The Horrors of Magnetism
02/21/01 - Laugh In
02/21/01 - Viewer Mail 2 - Show Us the Goods
02/21/01 - One Good Turn Deserves Another
02/21/01 - Viewer Mail
02/21/01 - Comic Contest #6 - Wirthling Sucks Big Time
02/20/01 - The Cards They Never Lie
02/19/01 - It's All About the Benjamins
02/19/01 - Death
02/19/01 - Bug's Life
02/19/01 - Ode to Manda
02/19/01 - Jury Duty
02/18/01 - Backgrounds Galore
02/18/01 - Comic Contest #5 - What A Burger
02/16/01 - The Sound of Silence
02/16/01 - Goats Interview #2
02/16/01 - Denied
02/16/01 - The Grow Up So Fast These Days
02/16/01 - Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter, You Perverts!
02/16/01 - Infidelity
02/16/01 - Comic Contest #4 - Grumpy Old Men
02/15/01 - The Simple Pleasures of Being a Cowboy
02/15/01 - Reader's Poll
02/15/01 - Single Frame Hilarity Times Three
02/15/01 - Ice, Ice, Baby.
02/15/01 - Tragedy in the 100 Acre Wood
02/14/01 - Happy Valentines Day
02/14/01 - Helluva Tough
02/13/01 - Comic Contest #3 - You Want Me to Do What?
02/13/01 - Clusters - The Breakfast of Champions
02/12/01 - Sticks and Stones...
02/11/01 - He Works Hard for the Money
02/11/01 - Slam-Bam-Thank-You-Maam
02/11/01 - Alive!
02/11/01 - Chew On This
02/11/01 - Brother Can You Spare a Dime?
02/11/01 - You Can't Put Too Much Water in the Reactor
02/11/01 - We Wear the Required Uniform! (Tights)
02/11/01 - Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti
02/11/01 - The Man from Nantucket
02/11/01 - Comic Contest #2 - Give Me Your First Born
02/10/01 - Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
02/10/01 - The Mystery Machine
02/10/01 - What's Your Return Policy?
02/09/01 - Comic Contest #1 - Don't Eat Them All at Once
02/06/01 - The Truth is Out There
02/06/01 - They All Belong To Me
02/06/01 - Will It Ever Stop?
02/06/01 - Some People...
02/06/01 - Silly
02/05/01 - Hostile Takeover
02/05/01 - Knock, Knock II
02/05/01 - Knock, Knock
02/05/01 - Ode to the Forum
02/04/01 - Amateur Night
02/04/01 - Walk Like an Egyptian
02/02/01 - Tribute to Isaac Asimov
02/02/01 - Master of the Macabre
02/01/01 - Cruisin' for a Bruisin'
02/01/01 - Lowpass Haiku III
02/01/01 - The First Rule...
02/01/01 - No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition
02/01/01 - Breakin' the Law
01/30/01 - Queue
01/30/01 - Goats Interview; Part 1
01/29/01 - ECHO (or, 'Pure Idiocy in three Frames')
01/28/01 - Levitation (or 'Eat Your Heart Out David Copperfield')
01/28/01 - Can You Tell Me How To Get To....
01/28/01 - Translation Problems
01/27/01 - I Was But Acting
01/27/01 - Rub Me the Wrong Way
01/27/01 - Which Way Did He Go?
01/26/01 - Reunion; Part 4
01/26/01 - Reunion; Part 3
01/26/01 - Lowpass Haiku II
01/26/01 - Enlightenment
01/26/01 - So This Guy Walks Into a Bar...
01/25/01 - It's What's Inside that Counts
01/25/01 - Letter of Mystery
01/25/01 - Lowpass Haiku
01/25/01 - Lockjaw
01/25/01 - Reunion; Part 2
01/25/01 - Reunion; Part 1
01/25/01 - Let's Get Ready to Rumble
01/25/01 - Doctor, Doctor; Gimme the News
01/25/01 - Love is in the Air
01/24/01 - Mixup in the Shipping Department
01/24/01 - Pimp Smackin'
01/24/01 - Gang Bang 2001
01/24/01 - Badger++
01/24/01 - At Last
01/24/01 - Stand. Up.
01/24/01 - Welcome Wagon
01/24/01 - Evil Begat Evil
01/24/01 - Plagiarize
01/24/01 - All in a Day's Work
01/24/01 - Double Your Pleasure
01/24/01 - Mallrats - Mission Impossible One
01/24/01 - I Have No Need of a Protocol Droid
01/24/01 - Dress Up
01/24/01 - Big Time
01/24/01 - Oh What a Night
01/23/01 - Touchy-Feely
01/23/01 - The Boys in Blue
01/23/01 - Wrong Class
01/23/01 - How the West was Won
01/23/01 - The End is Nigh
01/23/01 - The Big House
01/23/01 - Surprise
01/23/01 - Third Time's the Charm
01/23/01 - Saddle Up!
01/23/01 - Immolation Invitation
01/23/01 - Writer's Block
01/22/01 - Flame On.
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Stickmen Randomness 2
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