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| What's the matter, Dexxy Baby? You look bloated, like you're retaining water. | |
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| Oh, it's Satan. He was being a little bitch, so I sent him to hell. | |
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| So I gave him a little spanking, just a couple love taps, and shouted, "Suuuueeey! Look, Ma, I'm surfing the fat outback!" That's an analsex reference. He got so pissy! Oh Mister Owens, I need minions | |
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| My students won't shut up. I tried duck taping them, but parent-teacher night is this week, so I can't leave any visible red marks until next week. Parents only look when preparing for a confrontation | |
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| So, what are you going to do? | |
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| I think I'm going to have to go to war with the little red, tanning-salon slut. | |
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