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graykane
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Just like with Elvis, stardom & Monty Cristos ruined both Captain Marvel and Bobby Fischer.

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mom jokes2

by graykane
3-10-05


	I thought your mom was getting fat cuz she's got those cottage-cheese legs. I asked her about it. As it turns out, those are speed-bump implants to slow down customers at her all-you-can-eat buffet.


	I don't know, man. $2.99 all-you-can-eat raw oyster that's been licked so many times it tastes like toothpaste and aftershave. The other day I found a tooth in there.


	Between the stubble, the smell of aftershave and toothpaste, and that one tooth in what otherwise looks like all gums, that space between your mom's legs is starting to look like my late Uncle Ernie.


	I said, "Uncle Ernie, how did your face end up growing between Matt's mom's legs?"


	He said, "This is purgatory. All lost souls end up here. It has to do with that refrain 'You Are What You Eat,' only apparently there's a delay. It takes effect only in the afterlife."

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