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| What if we're not alone in the universe? Yeah, I'd like to meet 'em but, should the situation arise, I've got some hard and fast do's and don'ts. So, listen up aliens who I hope aren't ALIENS. | |
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| (1) I DO want to be contacted while with other people so that we can back up each other's unbelievable story. | |
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| (2) I DO NOT want to be contacted alone in an elevator because I will fart and the alien will know it was me. | |
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| (3) I DO want to be contacted if it's going to be like CONTACT. (4) I DO NOT want to be contacted if it's going to be like NELL. | |
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| (5) I DO want to be contacted if I have on clean underwear. (6) I DO NOT want to be contacted if I will have had on clean underwear. | |
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| So, come on down aliens. And if you play your cards right, for $20 you can probe anyone named Cinnamon. Seriously, anyone. | |
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