All comics by iamfkkd

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
I've never fought anyone before but I am so mad I could punch him in the face.
Wow, you really must be ticked.
What's the deal with this fist thing? Does the thumb go on the inside or outside?
The outside, dumbass.
Ow! I need to cut my nails. This fist business is harder than I thought.
Good luck with that, punchy. I'm going to watch Iron Chef: America. ALLEZ-CUISINE!

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
Have you ever been to Burrito Boys? It's awesome. I'm hungry, let's get out of here.
What?
I said Burrito Boys. It's awesome. Don't tell me you've never been!
Fascinating, but dude, we're at a Judas f'n Priest concert. PRIEST!! DUDE!!
Fine. I'm hungry too - let's go. It's f'n delicious.

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
Terrance?
Yes, Philip?
Do you mind if we pull ova? I have to faaart really badly
Why Philip, a faaart has never stopped you from driving before..
Yes, but this time I needed to go to the can. ahahahahahaha
ahahahahahaha

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
What do you mean "I don't love you anymore"?
I'm sorry James. I've found someone else, and you know, as they say, three's a crowd.
No! This can't be! You were my world - my everything - my...my...
Goodbye James.
Calm down, Jimmy. You're such a fucking drama-queen.

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
HEY! Hey chicken! ..................... Why did the chicken cross the road?
CHICKEN! Pay attention! I asked you why you crossed the road............and this is where you say "why?"............
I'm a Moa you fucktard
thebeesareinthewhatnow?

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
So you've never been swimming before?
Never! This is my first time off the farm! But there's a first time for everything...and that water looks great! When in Rome, as they say!
OK then I have a joke for you! What's the difference between a cow and a duck?
Har har har I'm from a farm, Reginald, not the moon. I have heard this one before. They both swim, except for the cow. LAME!
So you still want to go swimming?
Giddy up!

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
Why did I cross that road?
Why....why.....why...
Hey, what's going on here?
I was pondering, you know...the usual... why I crossed the road...
No, no. I meant who the hell are you and why are you here - in my living room.

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
I can't remember...I can never remember anything...except a road...And of course that I am a chicken.
Forget the road, can you remember how the hell you got into my house? Hey, I can't remember either but I don't care. Leave.
I can't remember anything. All that's going through my mind is why...why...why...
I don't care, please leave.
This is serious, man. I'm having an identity crisis here!
Don't care. Don't care.

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
You're not really helping me. I think I've worn out my welcome. I should go.
Get out.
I guess I'll...uh...catch you around then?
Sure.
Honey, do you feel like chicken for dinner tonight??.......Where are my keys?

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
HEY! Hey rabbit!..........How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?
I'll kill you.
Ha ha I see you're a good sport so Imma tell ya! The Easter Bunny stays healthy with EGGsercise, particularly HAREobics! Ha Ha! Get it? Eggs...hare...?

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
Be vewy vewy kwiet...I'm hunting wabbits!
I think you want that guy over there. Don't you agree?

 

by iamfkkd
8-14-08
Aha! I've got you, you waskly wabbit!
You were saying?
Touché

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
Hey there sexy
Stay calm, stay calm. Dr Gourmand says it's all in my head - not everybody is out to eat me...
...breathe...breathe...he says vegetarianism is on the rise, but so is obesity, dammmit...
I want you inside me
DEAR GOD!

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
Vy are you sad, skinny man?
I...
IT DOES NOT MATTER VY YOU'RE SAD! I'M HERE TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!
I just found out I have AIDS.
Crap. Not again.

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
5pm on a Friday afternoon
Well, that's the whistle! Great battle today, Tony! Weeeekened woooo!!!
Mos def! I can't wait to get home to pound back a few brewskies.
Let's pick this up again on Monday where we left off
Totally - Anyway, I'll see you after we get changed
Ready to go?
Hah. I didn't think white was your colour.

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
Hey babe, c'mere and check out this awesome website I found today!
It's a site where you can make your own comic strips - and with all the stupid stuff our friends say this will be a riot!
See, I made this one here based on the conversation you had with your dad the other day
Am I the chicken or the ninja?

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
I was bored at work today so I made a whole bunch of other ones too! Check'm out!
Sure
5 minutes later...
Wow. That's some pretty messed up stuff, hun. Is that really the type of stuff you think about?
Yup! Sure is. I've gotta keep myself entertained at work, else I'll go crazy!
Why do I date you?

 

I've been stood up again
by iamfkkd, 8-15-08

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
Uh oh...the "me so solly" bit tanked. Time to pull out the big guns...
So I chopped off her hands and said "Now who can't hold an erection?"

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
HEY! Hey slug!............What's the difference between prison food and a pile of slugs?
Do you know anything about animals? I'm a snail - see the shell? Notice how I can't move away from you quickly enough? Look it up. Snail.
Yeah right, nice try, slug....So the difference is that prison food comes on a plate! HI-OH!!!!
Words cannot express how much I hate you.
Ooohhh I'm scared. What are you going to do? Slug me?

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
Oh - Hi Patty. It's been a while. How have things been?
Things have been ok I guess, thanks, Patrick. And you?
Good, good. You're looking well. Sorry but I've gotta run to meet Betty.
You too. Well, it was really nice to see you. See you 'round the sty maybe sometime?
'Sup Betty. Ready to bounce?
Hey babe. Let's roll.

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
?

 

by iamfkkd
8-15-08
???
!!!
uuuh oooh

 

This isn't quite what I expected when you asked me over to hang out...
I've only got one, but we can take turns
by iamfkkd, 8-15-08

 

Jeez man, it's called a courtesy flush
So....cold...
by iamfkkd, 8-15-08

 

by iamfkkd
8-18-08
Is this your cat, sir?
HEY! Hey fireman.....I got a good one for ya - Why do most cats die in the morning?
Something about dogs sleeping in the afternoon. Let me rephrase. Is this dead cat yours, sir?
I haven't heard that one before! What's the punchline?

 

by iamfkkd
8-18-08
This sandwhich is great! I'm going to enjoy every single bite of it
Say...whatcha got there?
It's this awesome sandw...
Too slow, bitches!

 

by iamfkkd
8-18-08
Heaven's Kitchen Stadium
...and today's secret ingredient is...........HOLY WATER!
ooooh!
frig
suck-suck-sucka!

 

by iamfkkd
8-18-08
...so then I said to her "there's no way you're going to be able to put that up your"....
Pardon the interruption, Tim, but I think I may have something of interest to you...
I'll give you a good price...
How much would you like for him?

 

by iamfkkd
8-18-08
HEY! Hey cowboy.... I gotsta good one for ya. Yer gonna like this one
Sure, I love jokes!
What's the difference between an in-law and and outlaw?
Get this cowboy - Outlaws are wanted! HOO HAA! Oh yeah!
Ain't dat da trut'!

 

by iamfkkd
8-19-08
I had a really great time tonight. Do you want to come in for a cup of coffee?
I don't know if I should...
Why not? It's not like I'm going to try anything funny, I promise.
Well, I guess...ok then. Just for a coffee.
Sucker...everyone knows snowmen can't drink coffee. Giggity.

 

by iamfkkd
8-19-08
hmm?
*whispers*
hooooo
HYA!
Are you my 10 o'clock?
We meet at last!

 

by iamfkkd
8-26-08
I'm stoked for this cottage weekend!
It should be pretty great - as long as *ahem* BM doesn't eat all the food again. I can't believe we had to go hungry for two whole days last time.
Seriously, what's with that guy? Why does he even get invited?
I don't know - courtesy? We should just make lot's of food with something he doesn't like in it...
What do you suppose he doesn't eat?
My eaaaaaaars are burning.......Bacon...I don't eat bacon........

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