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I wish Karen Carpenter would kill me.
by
il_schmucko
9-01-02
What's a ventriloquist?
Webster defines it as "one who entertains by having an apparent conversation with a hand-manipulated dummy."
Oh. My girlfriend does that.
Really?
Well, she "manipulates me by hand" and then we carry on an "apparent conversation"...
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il_schmucko's Comics
07/25/03 - Contest 199f
07/25/03 - Contest 199e
07/25/03 - Contest 199d: One day at the pastry shop.
07/25/03 - Contest 199c: Like a box of chocolates.
07/24/03 - Contest 199b: Kicking the Beckett
07/24/03 - Contest 199
07/23/03 - Apologies...
07/23/03 - Contest 198i
07/23/03 - Contest 198h
07/23/03 - Contest 198g
07/23/03 - Contest 198f
07/23/03 - Contest 198e
07/21/03 - Contest 198d
07/21/03 - Contest 198c: Phone sex.
07/21/03 - Contest 198b
07/21/03 - Contest 198
07/18/03 - A different breed.
07/14/03 - Contest 197f: Oh... you wanted to know what _I_ would do.
07/14/03 - Contest 197e: Cowboy Adjudication
07/14/03 - Contest 197d: What the characters would do.
07/14/03 - Contest 197c: The 2004 Nobels
07/14/03 - Contest 197b: Ah well.
07/14/03 - Contest 197: What Wirthling would do.
07/13/03 - (Contest 196) Dateline: Orlando - Tram operator fired.
07/13/03 - Contest 196: The invisible wall.
07/13/03 - We've just given him decaf. Let's see if he notices.
07/13/03 - Eminem and 50 Cent discuss 19th century English literature
07/13/03 - Contest 196: Oops.
07/13/03 - Contest 196: Way too much.
07/09/03 - Contest 196: Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Simpson?
04/07/03 - Hurray!
04/07/03 - Press Briefing.
03/24/03 - I'm just playin', America. You know I love you.
03/18/03 - At least he knows he's free.
03/18/03 - Presidential Address, March 2004
01/17/03 - Contest 165c: President Fuck
01/17/03 - Contest 165b: Fuck at the BMV
01/17/03 - Contest 165: Vaudeville
01/10/03 - Contest 164f
01/10/03 - Contest 164e
01/10/03 - Contest 164d
01/10/03 - Contest 164c
01/10/03 - Contest 164b
01/10/03 - Contest 164
01/03/03 - Contest 163: One Day at the Dildo Factory
11/01/02 - Contest 151: The Dee-luxe Apartment in the Sky
10/12/02 - CC 147c: Zookeepers Suspended for Eating Animals
10/12/02 - CC 147b: White House Ponders Iraq's Future
10/12/02 - CC 147: Sniper Causes Fox Studio to Rethink Film's Debut
10/07/02 - Contest 146c: Point/Counterpoint, fin. (recurring window)
10/07/02 - Contest 146b: Perhaps Stickman
10/07/02 - Contest 146: What if Borchau
10/04/02 - CC 145b: Hippocrates Shrugged
10/04/02 - Contest 145: Lifelong learning
10/04/02 - TTCC3a: Nothing to see here.
09/30/02 - Contest 144: Some much-needed rest
09/30/02 - Contest 144c: Obligatory.
09/30/02 - Contest 144b: Cowboy Cabin-Fever
09/28/02 - Impression
09/28/02 - Cowboy Podiatry
09/24/02 - Missing Title: Please Title Your Comic Strip. (III)
09/24/02 - Retail, in general, rules!
09/23/02 - Supervisors rule also!
09/23/02 - Customers rule!
09/23/02 - Turn On the Fun (tm)
09/23/02 - Creed sucks.
09/23/02 - Contest 143d: Beatlebum
09/23/02 - Contest 143c: More Billy Joel TV/TS goodness!
09/23/02 - Contest 143b: Mares eat oats and Halls eat Oates
09/23/02 - Contest 143: Billy Joel? I can do that!
09/16/02 - Contest 142 (finally)
09/14/02 - Mystery Solved
09/13/02 - So Happy Together
09/13/02 - Missing Title: Please Title Your Comic Strip. (II)
09/13/02 - God Money...
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story XII
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story XI
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story X
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story IX
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story VIII
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story VII
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story VI
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story V
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story IV
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story III
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story II
09/09/02 - The Whole Damned Story I
09/08/02 - Nihilism 101 with Dr. Tobor
09/07/02 - You know... THAT day.
09/04/02 - Why "Family Circus" is only one panel.
09/04/02 - When they're not in comics...
09/04/02 - POWER NEWBIE 1: THE END? (revised)
09/03/02 - The Best Strip Ever.
09/03/02 - POWER NEWBIE 1: THE END? (Contest 141c)
09/03/02 - POWER NEWBIE 1: THE MIDDLE (Contest 141b)
09/03/02 - POWER NEWBIE 1: THE BEGINNING
09/01/02 - I wish Karen Carpenter would kill me.
09/01/02 - Missing Title: Please Title Your Comic Strip.
09/01/02 - Public Service Announcement 2K2
08/31/02 - What the world needs now is more light-bulb jokes.
08/28/02 - Third time's the charm.
08/28/02 - Explanation III
08/28/02 - Explanation II
08/28/02 - Explanation I
08/27/02 - King of Zings
08/27/02 - Contest 139.2b (new look, same great taste!)
08/26/02 - Contest 139.5 - Lunch Break
08/25/02 - Contest 139.4
08/25/02 - Contest 139.3
08/25/02 - Contest 139.2
08/25/02 - Contest 139, y'all
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