You know, I wasn't always a drunken, embittered shell of a human being. In fact, what I really wanted to be was a children's entertainer.
Really? How did that work out?
Say, any of you kids ever been through a messy divorce? Trust me... the difference between a tick and a lawyer is that the tick falls off when you die!
Mommy! Make him stop!
Come to think of it, I guess I always was a drunken, embittered shell of a human being.
