I was going to make disparaging remarks about your purchases like I usually do, but now that I know you're married, it's okay for you to buy whatever you want!
I was going to ignore you completely while you wait in line for hours, like I've always done, but knowing that you're married means you exist to me! I'll even file your paperwork on time!
Well, daughter, since you're married now and have attached yourself to a man, I'm going to treat you like a human being for once in your life. Marriage means respectability. Woman power!
