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| THIS JUST IN!!! MIKE JONES IS AN ALIEN!!! WE HAVE CONFIRMED THIS ANONYMOUS TIP JUST RECENTLY... | |
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| and I thought that kid was just a nerd! | |
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| THE GOVERNMENT HAS NOT YET RELEASED A STATEMENT ON WHAT THEY INTEND TO DO ABOUT THE ALIEN INFESTATION... | |
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| This is almost enough to keep me from switching the channel to porn and jerking off all night... almost. | |
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| WE GO NOW TO THE LIVE CAMERAS TAPING THE ANGRY MOB OUTSIDE MIKE JONES' HOUSE... | |
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| Dad is gonna kill me when he gets home... | |
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