Hello! I'd like to buy something ironic please! Maybe something a bit futuristic, but also kitsch. Like a plastic robot that dances to Kraftwerk hits.
I'm not sure we have anything ironic in stock, sir.
You're a feisty one, want to fuck? I have a leatherette sofa in my loft apartment. I could put on my new CD of bossa nova classics played on a vintage synth by a chainsmoking monkey.
I'm sorry, sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
What are you doing tonight? I'm going to see my friend's band at the art gallery. The room's not designed for performance, so the audience are having to sit in the toilets and listen through a vent.
